I first read Friedrich Nietzsche in my freshmen year of college and his philosophies blew me away. We’ve spent over a hundred years deciphering his words and yet we’re still searching to truly understand them.

I’ve gone on a recent binge of his best quotes and picked five that struck me about dating women.

1. “And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”

If you keep looking at all the negatives in life, it will consume you. Having a mindset of anger, emptiness, and contempt only perpetuates those feelings deeper within us. 

It all goes back to “like attracts like.” When you focus on the bad in life, you’re only doing yourself harm. You will draw others with the same attitude into your world and strengthen those harmful emotions.

Keep your head up. Life has its tough moments but everything passes. Being sad or upset about something is natural but dwelling on it accomplishes nothing.

Had I never pulled myself out of “the abyss” I wouldn’t be the man I am today.

2. “Many a man fails as an original thinker simply because his memory is too good.”

We love quick fixes and instant solutions. But, when it comes to being confident and social, it’s an ongoing journey.

You can’t memorize “guaranteed lines” forever or you’ll end up being a robot regurgitating the same old stuff over and over. You won’t learn how to connect with people on a real level.

Get out of your safe routine. I cringe when I hear a guy tells the same anecdotes or stories in the same order to multiple women. Yes, these are actual words from you, but you’re just grabbing the same fallback material you’ve used a thousand times. Change it up.

Don’t be afraid to fail or say something stupid, at least it’ll be original. 

3. “Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.”

Arrogance is not confidence. Acting like you’re better than everyone doesn’t mean you are.

In fact, most people (women especially) see right through a man who gloats about himself endlessly because he’s actually insecure.

The confident man is humble, grateful, respectful, and communicative through action.

4. “The demand to be loved is the greatest of all arrogant presumptions.”

You are not entitled to a woman’s affection just because you say so. It’s an unhealthy ideology that I hear way too many guys complaining about. “I hang out with her all the time, why is she flirting with that guy?!? She should be flirting with me!”

Sorry, but human attraction doesn’t work that way — it’s a feeling, not a logical decision.

Anything worth having in this world takes effort. The same goes for winning a woman over, so start showing your intentions.

Flirt, tease, get more assertive, and be passionate. Create sexual tension by teasing, getting more assertive, playfully touching her, and showing passion. Start opening up as a person and get real with her.

It isn’t enough to just be there and hope she falls all over you. You’ve got to take the initiative. 

5. “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”

In the end, I can’t teach you every step of the way in dating because there’s no one answer to it all.  Everything is a series of trial and error — I can teach you the foundation and give you healthy guidelines, but everyone is vastly different.

Some women might find something weird that others find sexy. One line can get you action one night and slapped in the face the next.

Want some proof?

This discussion: “What’s the cheesiest pickup line you’ve used that actually worked?” I couldn’t have thought up half of those in a million years, yet they still worked like a charm. It’s an awesome read.

You’ve got to make it your own and play to your strengths. Find out what works for you.