Is Your Negativity Turning Her Off?

June 22nd, 2011 by Nick Notas 5 Comments

“God I hate BMW drivers!” “My ex-girlfriend was a crazy bitch.“ “Most people are just jerks anyway.” “I’m completely miserable at my job.” No girl wants to hear your constant complaints — it’s unattractive. Guys, you’re shooting yourself and your chances in the foot.

It’s no surprise that women are in tune with their emotions. Negative energy is the last thing you want to her to feel when getting to know you. She’s bound to associate you with all those bad emotions and you’re going to make her uneasy. How do you think she’ll react if you’re dwelling on depressing topics?

Instead, follow these tried and true guidelines to keep your cool and make the best out of your interactions with women.

Never leave home angry

Going out while frustrated and upset never ends well. When you’re in a bad mood you’re unable to think clearly and women sense it immediately. Relax for a bit and get your mind off of whatever’s bringing you down. Do something that makes you happy; I like to blast music or watch a couple of funny YouTube videos.

Keep foul language to a minimum

Swearing to emphasize a funny point in a story is acceptable while cussing like a drunken sailor is not. You might think it makes you sound cool and badass but it doesn’t. You look crude and demonstrate a lack of class that she’s going to pick up on. Way too many times I’ve a guy dropping f-bombs left and right and losing the girl’s interest. Be a gentleman and choose your words wisely.

Don’t bring her down

I know you may be itching to share your anger on the stupid guy who cut you off, but now is not the time. Is it really going to kill you not to vent about it? Talk about something that makes you both laugh, that gets you passionate, or tell her an interesting story. Stop complaining about the bartender or whining about money. I guarantee you’ll both have a better time.

She’s not your therapist

Spilling your life problems from the start scares women. It’s natural to struggle with issues but don’t make them the first things you bring up. You can’t break into a sob story about your ex or list the reasons why you hate your boss. Also, stay away from your cynical views on society and the world in general. It’s your job to engage her and unloading on her is sure to kill the magic of the moment.

Be a source of fun and lightheartedness for her. By switching to a positive mindset, the responses you get from women will change dramatically. I’ve worked with guys that fixed their attitude and went from frustrated to fulfilled in their dating lives. It’s not worth spending the energy when you could be using it to build a better connection and have a good time.

  1. Chiara on June 22, 2011

    Love this!

    • Nick on June 23, 2011

      Thanks 🙂

  2. Taz @ Climb the Rainbow on June 23, 2011

    Aggressive negativity when you’re first getting to know her is definitely a big no-no. No one wants to hear that shit.

    Sadly though, there are plenty of manipulative men out there who will tell their sob stories to women in order to manipulate her emotions by making themselves out to be “sensitive” and “in touch with their feelings”. It works – sometimes. Some women need to be needed, take on the role of the rescuer, and hey, you’ll probably even get laid if you pull off your little act well enough.

    Keep in mind though that if you actually want a great woman who is wildly attracted to you and can’t wait to rip your clothes off, this is definitely NOT the way to go about it. No woman, no matter how “caring” she is, is going to build up an intense, all-consuming, fiery attraction for you if she feel like she has to coddle you like a child.

    If you want a Mummy, whinge. If you want a great girlfriend, man up.

    • Nick on June 23, 2011

      Taz with yet another brutal and spot-on response.

      I’m not a fan of playing with a girl’s heart like that. It’s pretty sad if you need to manipulate her with sob stories to get into her pants. But, it definitely happens and I know guys who get results with it.

      Just have to ask yourself what kind of woman you’re attracting with those tactics. I’d wager it’s not the high-quality girlfriend who’s attracted to you for the right reasons. You can keep going after a new caretaker or you can find yourself a real woman that finds you irresistible.

  3. Steve on June 24, 2011

    Great Post Nick!

    Agree with what you say!

    To Our Success



Never Blow A First Date Again.