My dad and I used to go to the movies a lot when I was a kid. Once when I was 12, he took me to see the classic wholesome family film… American Pie. 

For those who aren’t familiar with the movie, it’s basically a bunch of nerdy high school seniors that decide to make a pact to lose their virginity before heading off to college. 

Great father and son bonding experience, right?

In the film, one of the guys seeks out this legendary book called the Sex Bible. It’s this tome of sex tips that gets passed around the school over decades that teaches men how to be great lovers.

Of course, it focuses on things like technique and using your tongue the right way.

This is how a lot of young men approach being a great partner in the bedroom. Especially if they’re with a new woman, they want to give her a great time. So what do they do? They focus on technique.

I’m here to tell you today that technique is OVERRATED.

Of course, you need to know a little bit – are you putting it in the right area, how to change positions, and the basics of touching her. After that, a woman’s mindset and emotions are what’s crucial to creating a strong, powerful experience.

The Power Of Desire

There’s one specific thing that almost all women say drive them wild in the bedroom. And that is:

The act of a man showing desire while in bed with her.

You’re going into a lot of these sexual experiences nervous about making a good impression. You’re thinking about touching her the right way and making her feel good.

But she’s also of the same mindset: she’s nervous, she wants to look pretty to you, she wants to make sure her stretch marks aren’t showing. She wants to make sure she doesn’t look awkward, that she smells good, and that she tastes good.

While you’re sitting there reading the masterstroke technique of how to lick her in this specific star pattern…

She’s sitting there worrying about, “Do I look attractive to him? Is he enjoying his experience? Am I what he wants right now?” This is pretty universal.

Go ask women anywhere or search, “What’s the hottest thing a guy can do in the bedroom?” Always towards the top is the answer, “Feeling that the guy is really excited and just wants me so much.”

This is the premise of every romance novel everywhere. Guy meets girl, they start hitting it off, and things start heating up. He becomes so overwhelmed with desire that he just has to have her and he shows her that. 

THAT’S what drives women wild! 

A leading man’s overwhelming excitement gets them into a sexy headspace.

Now that you understand the bigger picture, here are five sex tips that will make her grip the sheets in pleasure.

1. Hold Strong Eye Contact

There is almost nothing sexier than looking into a partner’s eyes when you’re in the bedroom. Staring into each other’s souls while you’re embracing is a huge turnon.

When you study things like tantra, that’s a big part of it. It’s about getting good with eye gazing and looking at each other during intimacy. It makes you two feel so close and it shows her that you want her SO DAMN MUCH.

This is something a lot of guys don’t do. They aren’t looking at a woman. They’ll be looking past her while thrusting – all checked out.

You need to get good at just looking at her, especially when you’re taking her. In a moment where it’s getting intense, that’s just going to make her go crazy. Probably the sexiest time to do this is when you are both going to climax.

Those last 30 seconds when you’re going harder, the tension is building, you’re both about to moan and scream. Then you lock eyes with her and it’s game over. 

Eye contact at this pivotal moment is unbelievably powerful in a way you can’t describe.

Examples

• Make eye contact for a few seconds as you start kissing her neck. Hold the gaze and watch her reactions.
• When you’re caressing her, glance up at her eyes periodically and give a sly smile.
• As you’re pleasuring her, lock eyes to connect on a deeper level.
• When you shift positions, maintain eye contact as you enter her again.
• When undressing her, pause periodically to stare into her eyes as you remove each article of clothing. Let the tension build.
• Lightly trace your fingers over her skin while maintaining eye contact.
• Tell her how beautiful her eyes are as you gaze into them.
• Tell her in a sultry tone to keep her eyes on yours as you pick up the intensity.
• As you enter her, go slowly while gazing into her eyes to maximize anticipation.
• Lay next to her after and trace fingers down her body while staring lovingly into her eyes.

2. Breathe And Moan

I know this sounds horrific to a lot of men. They’re so worried about using their voice, grunting, and making noises. 

But just like how you probably don’t want a woman to lie there and give you no feedback…

Women want to know that you’re expressing ecstasy and pleasure through your voice, guttural noises, and your animal desires.

This is when a lot of men will hold themselves back and actually subdue their voice when women want the opposite. 

They want to hear you let out a moan when you’re feeling incredible. They want you to grunt and show when you just HAVE to have her and grab her tighter. 

When you’re thrusting, getting intense, and you’re both panting and out of breath – all these little sounds create an erotic atmosphere. 

If you’re quieting your voice, you’re doing a huge disservice to yourself and to her.

I know it feels embarrassing and a lot of guys are nervous about doing it, but I promise you that almost every woman wants to know and hear your pleasure so that she can step into hers.

Examples

• Let out a soft moan when she kisses a sensitive spot on your neck.
• When kissing down her body, let out approving groans as you discover areas that elicit sounds from her.
• As foreplay intensifies, start breathing heavier to signal your growing arousal.
• When you’re against her, grab her tight against you and breathe her scent in deeply.
• Tell her breathily, “I want you so much right now…”
• Growl softly when you smell her hair or neck.
• As intensity grows, match the sounds she makes with your own masculine versions.
• As you move together, sync the rhythm of your strong and uncontrolled breathing.

3. Worship Her Body

As you’re starting to undress her, touch her, and get into foreplay, I want you to become obsessed with her body. I want you to check her out with your eyes. I want you to lick down her lips and every inch of her.

If she gets a little nervous, I want you to touch her skin and reinforce how good it feels. Then spread her legs and look at her. I want you to drink it all in so you get more and more aroused. I want you to kiss down her body and feel her skin under your hands and taste her.

The more that you can see her as the most delicious dessert you’ve ever consumed, the more turned on she’s going to feel. Because a lot of women are self-conscious: they’re worried that they’re not perfect naked, they look a little weird, or maybe there’s too much hair down there.

If your actions are showing her otherwise, that really helps her relax, which paves the way for arousal.

Look at her like you’re hungry and you want to devour her. Kiss her lips and use them everywhere. Not just on her mouth and on her neck, but all down her body. Run your fingers down her skin or massage her.

She’s a block of marble and you are the sculptor. You are sitting there studying it, touching it, and shaping it slowly. You’re appreciating its beauty and just marveling in everything that she is.

Examples

• As you undress her, kiss every newly exposed area reverently.
• Light scented candles and give her a sensual massage, stroking her body with your hands.
• Trail fingers slowly down her spine and plant soft kisses along it while caressing her skin with praise.
• Kiss any insecurities she expresses, affirming that you appreciate every part of her.
• Between passionate kissing, gaze into her eyes and tell her emphatically, “You’re so beautiful.”
• When kissing her deeply, let your hands wander her body freely.
• Tell her in a husky tone, “I want to put my lips all over you…” as you kiss and lick various erogenous places.
• Tenderly kiss the places she least expects — her shoulders, butt, and ears.
• Spoon her and glide your hands over her curves in awe.

4. Tell Her How Much You Desire Her

While you’re using your eyes, hands, and mouth to worship her, you also want to tell her how sexy she is. You want to gaze her in the eyes and say, “Oh my God, you look incredible right now,” or, “Your body is stunning.”

Tell her while you’re touching her skin, seeing how amazing it feels under your hands, and thinking about how soft she is. You want to check out her body and tell her, “I can’t even contain myself right now. I want you so fucking much.”

When you enter her, tell her how unbelievable she feels, how good she makes you feel, how wet she is, and how hot that is.

The more you tell her these things, the more comfortable she’s going to get, and the more likely she’ll start telling you how SHE feels about YOU. And when you both start talking dirty to each other, you’re dialing up the heat and exploring your sexuality together.

Examples

• “God, you are so unbelievably sexy.”
• “I want you so bad right now. I need to have you.”
• “You drive me absolutely wild. I want to do so many things to you.”
• “Do you know how fucking hot you look right now?”
• “I’ve been thinking about you all day. I couldn’t wait to get you alone tonight.”
• “You have no idea how much I want you. I can barely contain myself.”
• “I’m going to kiss every inch of your perfect body.”
• “I am so hard thinking about how amazing you’re going to feel.”
• “You taste so good, I love going down on you.”
• “I’m completely entranced by your curves. I’m going to devour every inch of you.”
• “Your skin is so soft and warm. I can’t wait another second to be inside you.”
• “Every time you moan it makes me want push deeper in you.”
• “You feel so fucking good, I want to lose myself in you.”

5. Be Spontaneous With Your Passion

This is especially good once you guys have been intimate a few times, or you’ve been dating for a little while, and you’ve built up some trust.

Maybe she’s hanging out at your place and she stands up to get something. You come up behind her, wrap your arms around her waist, and pull her against you. If she’s feeling a little turned on, you start kissing her neck.

Right then and there, you were casually hanging out, but you both felt so aroused that you just had to consummate that feeling immediately. Instead of waiting for hours and building up slowly, there’s a bit more passion when you act in the moment.

Maybe you don’t even make it to the bedroom and you guys hook up on your rug, on the couch, or against the wall, and just start making out right there. 

It’s really sexy to have random passionate moments.

You can also do this by being a bit more intentional and faster with your moves. When  you lift up her shirt and start kissing her stomach, or you pull her pants down by her thighs.

It’s deeply arousing for her to just feel like, “Oh my God, this guy is starting to take me. He’s overwhelmed with passion and he just has to have me.”

You showed her, “I just got so turned on by you that I couldn’t hold myself back.”

The dynamic went from chill to fiery instantly. That contrast fills her with strong, sexual emotions she’ll never forget.

Examples

• Come up behind her while she’s doing dishes and start kissing her neck while pressing against her. Whisper in her ear how delicious she looks.
• When she bends over, gently grab her hips and grind against her from behind. Tell her you can’t resist her.
• If you catch a glimpse of her bending over or see some skin, groan audibly with desire. Let her know the sight of her turns you on.
• After a romantic date, passionately kiss her the moment you close the front door.
• When she wears something you find irresistible, press her up against the wall and ravage her with kisses. Tell her how crazy that outfit makes you.
• After a night of sexual tension and flirting, throw all inhibitions aside and have passionate sex outside of the bedroom – on the couch, floor, etc.
• While watching a steamy scene in a movie together, mime the actions with her.
• When she stretches and you catch a glimpse of her stomach or waistline, impulsively lift up her shirt further and kiss her bare skin.
• As she walks by, lightly smack her butt and get playfully physical together.
• After she teases you or makes a joke, come up behind her and whisper that she’s in trouble now. Show her what happens when she gets you worked up.
• After a bath or shower, “catch” her naked and act so turned on you take her then and there.
• If you haven’t seen each other for a while, the next moment alone should lead to frantic tearing off of clothes and animalistic desire.

Key Takeaways

1. Technique is overrated. While basic sex tips are important, a woman’s mindset and emotional state are most crucial for a powerful sexual experience. She will orgasm because of how you make her feel, not some super secret finger tactic.
2. Showing overwhelming desire is what drives women wild. Make prolonged eye contact, breathe heavily, moan, and let her see that passion coursing through your body.
3. Worship her body with your eyes, hands, mouth, and words. Appreciate every inch of her. Tell her all the ways you want her and how incredible her body feels. This helps her feel more comfortable and paves the way for arousal.
4. Spontaneous passion is very hot. Don’t always wait for after dinner sex while watching TV. Ravish her in a moment when she least expects it. This contrast is memorable and maintains the spice of a vibrant sex life.

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If you’re still stressed out about being a great sexual partner with a woman and trying to figure out all her buttons and have the perfect technique, drop all that shit. 

When you’re watching a nature documentary, are the animals studying the right approach before they go at it? No.

Embrace that animal lust. I promise that both of you will have some of the best sex you’ve ever had.

Do your dates stay friendly instead of sexy? Want to learn how to flirt naturally and turn women on in the moment? Talk to me for a free consultation so I can better understand your challenges and teach you how to make the right moves.

Schedule a consultation call here

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