nicknotas

DATING AND CONFIDENCE CONSULTANT

Conquer Confidence

April 12 - 15, 2018 | Barcelona

Gain the courage to meet and attract women at our 4-day coaching retreat in beautiful Barcelona

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What Happens When You Use Money to Attract Women

February 22nd, 2018 by Nick Notas 6 Comments

What Money Buys You

Money has been a symbol of status and power for thousands of years. And for thousands of years, women have desired wealthy men.

It makes sense…money makes the world go ‘round.

A man with money provides stability and a better standard of living. He can support children. He can offer new experiences.

We, as men, know this. It’s why so many of us work hard, dress to impress, and buy possessions that display our financial status. We want to position ourselves as high-value mates over other men.

However, some guys take this too far. They shower women they just met with absurd amounts of money. They pay for fancy dinners, lavish gifts, and high-end vacations.

The thing is, overspending doesn’t always get you the outcome you desire. It can be a viable option when you’re looking for a short-term hookup or a one-night stand…but when you’re looking for a more substantial connection, using money to attract women only sabotages your chances.

I’m here to argue that money buys you attention, not affection.

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What Are The Odds of Your Romantic Success?

February 8th, 2018 by Nick Notas 4 Comments

Give it your best shot

I’m not a gambling man.

When I take risks in life, they’re calculated. I consider the probability of getting the outcome I want. I use patterns and statistics to make informed decisions.

But when it comes to dating, there isn’t really a source of concrete data that can tell you what will happen in a given scenario.

So think of me as the next best thing — your dating database. I’ve talked to thousands of people about their romantic lives over the past 11 years. I’ve gotten an inside look into their actions, other people’s reactions, and how it all played out.

Honestly, I probably know what’s going to happen to you before it even happens, based on the choices you plan to make.

Of course, there’s always a margin for error. But for the most part, when dealing with the game of life…

You need to play the odds in your favor.

You need to make the smart calls that will most likely result in favorable outcomes.

And my advice on the smartest decisions may challenge you. You may think you’re in a completely unique situation that’s never, ever happened before. But I can tell you that your scenario is more likely to follow a pattern than to be an outlier.

So I’m here to share common romantic situations and, based on the odds, the most likely outcomes.

It’s up to you to play those odds or roll the dice.

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How to Avoid Becoming the Next Sex Scandal

January 25th, 2018 by Nick Notas 3 Comments

Getting into trouble

It seems like every day we see another sexual harassment or assault scandal unfold.

It’s heart-wrenching and often sickening. I can’t even imagine what the victims went through.

The silver lining is that these stories have brought attention to a seriously messed up problem. And awareness is the first step towards change.

But with any new movement, it comes with problems of its own. When people are emotional and passionate, some initially go to extremes to eventually find a reasonable middle ground.

So in an effort to protect a lot of young women from shit bags, good guys sometimes get lumped in. Awkward men who make bumbling advances or struggle with social skills are painted in the same light as men committing genuine sexual assault with malicious intent.

I don’t think that’s always fair. Courtship and communication is hard enough as it is. Nobody really teaches these things growing up. I believe there’s a much deeper, nuanced discussion to be had.

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The Fast Way to Become a Better, Smarter Person

January 16th, 2018 by Nick Notas 6 Comments

Thinking hard

I know a lot of stupid smart people. AKA I know a lot of stubborn smart people.

These are people who are inflexible in their intellectual beliefs.

And in this modern world, that doesn’t work. Being inherently smart is not enough. You need to be able to broaden your horizons, decipher fresh information efficiently, and adopt new ways of thinking.

Because new perspectives lead to seeking out new experiences. New experiences lead to new beliefs. And new beliefs can create massive change within us.

I’m not the smartest person I know by any means. But I feel like I’ve grown at a rapid pace because I stay well-informed, adaptive, and compassionately progressive.

So I’ve developed a framework that helps me learn the truth about the world as quickly as possible to thrive within it. Here’s how you can do the same.

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With New Year’s Resolutions, Less is More

January 3rd, 2018 by Nick Notas 4 Comments

With each new year, we think about all the things we wish we could add to our lives.

We want more money. We want to get healthier. We want more confidence and a more outgoing attitude. We want to travel to more places.

We want new casual hookups after getting out of a long relationship. Or we want to find someone we really connect with.

But as you all know, it’s not always easy to follow through on resolutions.

Why is it so hard?

I think it’s partly because we don’t always have the capacity to add anything more to our daily lives. We already have enough responsibilities and commitments as it is. And we’re also weighed down by our problems, baggage, and suffering.

So before you think about what you can ADD to your life, maybe you should first think about…

What can you SUBTRACT from your life?

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The Super Top Secret Way to Attract Hot and High-Value People

December 13th, 2017 by Nick Notas 4 Comments

High status woman

I watched my wife play at Carnegie Hall in New York City two weeks ago.

I ended up in a box seat with a family of four. I said hello and we talked about how incredible the venue looked. At some point, I asked, “Do you have someone performing here tonight?”

One older woman pointed to the two younger women and said, “Their father Scott Momaday wrote the story and is speaking tonight.”

For those uninitiated, N. Scott Momaday is a Pulitzer prize-winning author (the ultimate award  for writers). He’s also been a professor at multiple Ivy League universities, earned a PhD from Stanford, received 20 other honorary degrees, and was awarded the National Medal of Arts by George W. Bush.

In that moment, I realized I was talking to the family of a man who’s way “out of my league”. He had accomplished everything I strive for as a writer and educator.

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How to Stop Hating The Dating Process

December 1st, 2017 by Nick Notas 5 Comments

Hating the process

Some men seem to have natural, effortless charm with women.

And I bet if you ask them what they’re thinking about when they’re meeting new women or on a date, they’ll say something like…

“I’m just looking to have a good time.” or “I’m trying to have some fun.”

Their #1 priority is to enjoy themselves.

That mentality enables them to have fun experiences and coincidentally…see great results.

But it’s usually difficult for them to explain HOW they do that. They tell you, “don’t overthink it,” or “just be yourself”.

Those things aren’t easy to do! Having “fun” with a brand new romantic interest doesn’t come naturally to most of us. In fact, you may see the dating process as anything BUT fun. To you, it could be a grueling, anxiety-ridden experience filled with awkwardness and rejection.

So how do you change that? How do you learn to have more fun and therefore, see more romantic success?

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What Happens When You Start Showing Up For People

November 16th, 2017 by Nick Notas 18 Comments

Holding hands

A few months ago, I watched someone I care about succumb to cancer.

He was my wife’s uncle. Even though he lived 1,000 miles away, we made the effort to visit him three times in under two months.

I knew it would cost a lot of money and time. But this was someone who’d welcomed me into his home for years. We’d told personal stories, shared great laughs, and spent holidays together. We made memories that’ll stay with me forever.

He was a man of true integrity and helped raise my wife to embody that value. I looked up to him.

So there was never any doubt in my mind that it was the right decision to show up for him. And to show up for my wife.

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3 Mindsets That Make You Better at Sex

November 7th, 2017 by David Perrotta 3 Comments

Getting into the mindset

Dave Perrotta is a Boston friend and dating coach who embodies the “just do it” mentality. Since he cold emailed me for an interview on his old podcast, I became inspired by his thirst for adventure.

After college, Dave did what most people only dream of. He started living around the world and joined communities of people doing the same thing. He’s hosted podcasts, coaches men, publishes awesome content on his site, and has written three books.

His last book, Conversation Casanova, focused on the mindsets of being a great conversationalist. He didn’t just give you examples to mimic. He provided the tools to express your most attractive self for honest, engaging conversations.

His new book, The Hook Up Handbook, aims to give you those same mindsets so you can become an amazing sexual partner in the bedroom.  

Welcome Dave…

Sex is about more than just the physical act.

To have consistently great sex, you need to build healthy sexual mindsets. A good mindset ensures more fulfilling intimate experiences. A poor mindset can result in low sexual confidence and pursuing sex for all the wrong reasons.

It’s time you take your sexual mentality seriously – and today I’m sharing three simple yet powerful mindsets that will completely elevate your sex life.

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How 10 Men Learned to Believe in Themselves and Live Courageously at my Lisbon Retreat

November 2nd, 2017 by Nick Notas 6 Comments

From left to right: Julian, Pete, Kristina, Me (Nick). Pictures courtesy of Sarah Katharina Photography

About two years ago, I had a vision sparked by my friends Julian and Kristina from LoveLifeSolved. I wanted to bring people from all over the world together to become more confident in themselves and create more fulfilling lives.

It sounded like a pipe dream. Yet this past September, I hosted my third retreat. This time it was in Lisbon, Portugal alongside Julian, Krissi, and Pete from Beard Strokings.

I have to say…

Lisbon is its own world.

Since many societies controlled Portugal, the architecture varies wildly. It turns a combination of colors, lines, and textures into something unique and stunning.

The nightlife is unlike almost any other I’ve experienced. The most popular spots are in the streets. From 11:00 PM to 3:00 AM people pour into bars in two main neighborhoods. They grab drinks and take them outside to mingle.

This creates a casual, calm atmosphere. I genuinely think fresh air and not being packed into little rooms changes people’s moods dramatically. Everyone is a lot more positive, warm, and inviting.

It didn’t feel like a cheap nightlife experience. The guys felt that way, too and were surprised at how much they enjoyed going out at night.

And since Portugal has decriminalized all drugs…that made for some truly unique encounters. It’s a bit of a culture shock to hear…”Cocaine…heroin…hashish — free try!” offered to you on the street over five times a day. I never felt threatened but it still amazed me every time.

That’s some of Portugal. Now let’s talk about what’s really important: the lessons you can take away from the retreat.

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