Confession: I used to be a professional pickup artist.
Yes, I read women’s palms and rehearsed ridiculous lines that other men claimed were the secret to getting laid.
I even used a “cool” pseudonym, Niko.
But, that was a lifetime ago. I’ve spent the past twelve years teaching men to honestly know themselves and communicate with integrity. I’ve written healthy, effective dating advice that treats women with respect.
Yet still, month after month, men ask me about my journey as a certified PUA.
They’re fascinated by what I’ve learned, the stories I can tell, and what it was really like working as a coach for various companies.
In truth, the pickup community did teach me about the critical roles that leadership, non-verbal communication, and flirting have in creating attraction. It helped me find other men who wanted to go out and challenge their comfort zones, too.
But most importantly, it made me believe.
It made me believe that I had the capacity to proactively improve myself to become more appealing and social. It planted the seed that I could learn the art of human connection and talk to whoever I wanted, whenever I wanted.
For this, I will be forever grateful.
Despite that, when someone asks me, “What was it like being a pickup artist?” my gut response is…
Weird. Really fucking weird.
Because during my time as a PUA, I experienced many surreal moments that made me question what I was doing. So much so that I eventually got disgusted with it all and left to start my own practice.
So today, instead of sharing some wild and crazy success stories, I’d like to share the times when I saw major red flags in the industry. I want to show you why I don’t teach pickup today.