Taking It From Friends to Lovers

December 11th, 2012 by Nick Notas 7 Comments

Just Friends Movie Poster

You like this great girl. So why haven’t you shown her how you feel?

You didn’t touch her at all on the first date. You haven’t flirted with her or made her think of you in a sexual way. You’ve never steered the conversation toward intimate topics. You’ve never even tried for a kiss. And now every time you hang out it’s purely platonic.

What are you waiting for?

You’re probably not going to get the “sign” you’re looking for. She’s not going to take the initiative so stop waiting for an elusive green light. The majority of girls want you to make the first move.

But I get it…you’re scared of being rejected. You’re afraid of creeping her out. You believe it has to happen at the perfect moment.

Don’t kid yourself – she’s already made up her mind.

She already knows whether or not she’d entertain the idea of romance with you. Most likely, she knew within 30 minutes of your first meeting. You won’t create a “no” by escalating, you’ll just reveal what’s already there.

“But Nick, I don’t want things to be awkward or to lose our friendship.”

It’ll only be awkward if you make it so. If you get turned down, a simple “My apologies, I misread things.” will set it right. Roll back into conversation with a smile.

Unless she freaks out (slim chance), you’ll still be friends. She won’t fault you for trying, only if you continue to disrespect her wishes. If she gets mad because you put yourself out there, she’s not a very good friend anyway.

And the reality is, you aren’t that worried about losing the friendship. It’s a cover. You wouldn’t be spending all this time together, pining over her, if you only cared as a friend. Stop bullshitting yourself and her.

Always show your intentions from the start. If she’s interested and you wait, she’s going to move on. Or some other guy will do it before you. Assume she’s interested, take the shot, and escalate to a kiss. Being forward is the surefire way to know how a girl feels.

If you’re wrong, you’ll discover the truth sooner rather than later. Waiting around, hoping something will “just happen” is desperate.

If you’re right, congratulations! You just started a sexual relationship.

Keep getting stuck in the friend zone? Talk to me for a free consultation.