There I was, sitting across from him: A 6’2” Swedish guy with shades and more swagger than you could shake a stick at. We were grabbing a beer, discussing thoughts on life, women, and his plan to spend months in the Bahamas working on a boat.
We started picking each others brains when I asked,
“How do know when you should approach a girl or not? How do you know she even wants to talk to you?”
He sat back, smiled, and let out a chuckle. “It’s always the right time to talk to her. Why? Because every girl wants me. If a girl makes eye contact with me, smiles at me, or whatever, she’s into me. It’s that simple.”
The funny thing is, he actually believed it. And you know what? He’s still to this day one of the smoothest guys I know with women.
Waiting Gets You Nowhere
I used to worry about whether or not I should talk to this girl or that girl. I used to wait for the perfect sign that proved she liked me. I’d wait and wait and if that sign never came, she wasn’t interested…or so I thought.
It never helped me to question a girl’s interest before even meeting her. All it did was make me miss out on opportunities and regret it later on.
His words hit me hard and it was a huge turning point for me. From then on, I was going to assume every girl was into me unless stated otherwise.
Think about guys like “The Situation” from Jersey Shore. He walks into clubs like he owns the place and gets girls flocking to him. He’s fearless and therefore wildly attractive to women. Most importantly, he goes out with his friends to enjoy himself and isn’t standing on the sidelines psyching himself out.
Obviously, you don’t need to go to that extreme or become a douche to get women.
However, there is something to be learned from his total sense of disillusionment — if you start off believing that girls will want to meet you and will be excited to talk to you, you’re going to notice it actually happening.
Believe It And You Will Feel It
This works because you’re entering the interaction with a confident mindset. You’re going in expecting the best and coming from a place of fun and energy rather than nervousness and worry.
Self-assurance has an air of mystery that will intrigue her and get her wanting to know more about you. Combine that with a smile and open body language and you’re money.
This kind of leadership is especially important when you already know a girl and are wondering if you should make a move. I know a lot of you are hesitant to take the chance because you’re afraid if she doesn’t like you that you’ll jeopardize your friendship.
But ask yourself, are you genuinely satisfied being just friends or do you want something more?
Assume she’s into you and go for it. Whatever apocalyptic consequences you’ve thought up in your head about hitting on a girl in your social circle aren’t going to come true.
As long as you conduct yourself respectfully and read how she takes your flirting, there’s no situation you can’t recover from.
The point is, thinking girls don’t or won’t like you does you no good. You’re better off thinking they do and seeing what happens.
So next time you want to say hi to the girl at the bar, or the bookstore, or the girl next door — seize the opportunity.
If she’s not interested, she’ll say no or give you a clear indicator that she’s not feeling it. No big deal and you can easily walk away. If she is, just roll with it baby.
Just remember to always tell yourself “You’re so money!“