I love hearing romantic success stories. Even after eleven years, I still get a huge smile on my face when a client shares their enthusiasm from a positive dating experience.
That’s why it’s so difficult when I sometimes have to challenge people on their so-called “successes”. It’s tough to tell them to temper their excitement because their victories may not really be victories.
A lot of people define their romantic success by the wrong metrics. I know this because I spent years measuring my love life wrong, too.
I used to think I was crushing it with women if I got a number, got a kiss, or got laid. It seemed pretty straightforward…
“If an attractive woman wants me, I must be doing something right.” Society and friends told me that dating success was only about sleeping with hot women.
But over time I realized that mindset was all backwards. Viewing dating in this way never brought me long-term fulfillment.
I was stuck chasing the next “win” and without it, I felt like a failure. I never became comfortable in my own skin. And I never found lasting relationships with the women I really wanted.
Because when you measure your dating success by external approval, you risk destroying your self-esteem.