Effective flirting is an art form. Sometimes it can feel impossible to master.
If you’re too shy and worried you’re going to upset someone, you hold back. If you’re over-eager and think you’re going to bulldoze your way into getting a girl to like you, you scare her off.
The secret to finding the perfect balance is what I call confident restraint.
That means you shouldn’t hesitate to flirt with a woman you’re interested in. But you should also try to be conscious of her comfort.
You want to try and read her signals as best as possible. You should always respect her boundaries when she expresses them. This also means while you should lead things forward, you shouldn’t just relentlessly make sexual remarks and grope her out of nowhere.
You can come on too strong. That’s where the power of restraint comes in.
Sometimes, the best way to ramp things up, is to slow things down. Dial back the intensity and flirt with a little more subtlety.
This opens up room for one of the most essential parts to creating strong intimate connections — sexual tension. And sexual tension is where the real magic happens.