5 New Year’s Resolutions for the Single Guy

January 3rd, 2012 by Nick Notas 1 Comments

Tom Cruise Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol

Happy New Year everyone! Hope you all had wonderful holidays and spent time with people you care about J. I stuffed myself silly and caught up on great movies (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol were amazing).

Each year we come up with fresh resolutions that we’re determined to keep. So why is it that we end up forgetting about them before it’s even February? The solution isn’t to draft a longer list of goals, but to devise an in-depth plan of action and commit to follow through.

If working on yourself and your dating life are priorities (and they should be), I’ve written five resolutions for single guys in the coming year.

Better your odds

It’s one of my most common sayings: dating is a numbers game. You could be Casanova himself but if you’re not out there meeting women, you aren’t going to have much success. Even by just showing up, a “dating newbie” will immediately improve his results by going out more.

  • Join your friends. If they’re heading to a party, bar, club, whatever, go with them. Don’t take the easy way out and stay home to play games. Skyrim and Modern Warfare 3 can wait.
  • Meet X new women per week. Start with something manageable like talking to three women each week and work your way up. Introduce yourself to the girl in line at Dunkin Donuts, ask the brunette next to you on the bus what book she’s reading, and say “Hi” to the cutie at the bar. My two guides here and herewill provide the foundation to get started.

    When I began holding myself accountable with a specific goal, I was much more likely to stay on track. Three girls a week is over 150 girls a year — which is 150 more chances to find someone special than before. Do you see how your odds improve with just this one rule?

Be confident in your appearance

Looks can help a guy out, but they aren’t a deal-breaker. What matters is conveying a truly confident image of yourself. Look good and you’ll feel good. Feel good and you’ll instantly be more attractive to women. Once I started dressing smarter and trimming down, women saw me in a completely different, more romantic light.

  • Start eating well and exercising. Honestly, it doesn’t require as much effort as you think. Take 20 minutes out of your day to work your body. Do some pushups or crunches while watching TV. Get an Iron Gym and make a rule to do a set of pull-ups each time you enter the room. Ask a friend to go for a jog or throw around a medicine ball. Take stairs instead of elevators and park further away.
  • Join an active Meetup.com group. There are communities for running, hiking, swimming, rock climbing, and everything in between. It’s enjoyable and easier with like-minded people around instead of feeling like a chore.
  • Get new clothes. Fit is the number one rule of fashion, and buying a new shirt or pair of jeans that flatter you is a must. This article has all the basics to give you an excellent start to looking sexy.
  • Get a nice haircut. I know most guys don’t want to pay more than $15 for one, but a professional stylist is worth the money. Search on Yelp, pay a little extra, and take pictures afterwards. From then on, bring those photos to a standard location that’ll repeat the cut for half the cost.

Drop your baggage

The past is the past and there’s nothing you can do to change it. Holding on to long-gone relationships will eat you alive – the time I spent moping in my own sadness did nothing to help me or my mental state.

The same goes if you’re a virgin or inexperienced. Too many guys let that hold them back from dating incredible women. Realize that we all had to start somewhere, and awkward moments that don’t kill you will only make you stronger.

Women won’t mind about your lack of experience if you don’t. They see the present and care about how awesome you are right now.

  • Get over the breakup. I know it sucks, but the old “cut all contact, delete from Facebook, and hit the gym” is a solid start. You need to truly let go before you can move on. Exercising releases endorphins, improves your mood, energizes you, and makes you feel better all around.

    Spend time with people that make you happy. Family and good friends are there to support you and help you get back on your feet. Enjoy yourself and it’ll help you overcome your past woes.

  • Educate yourself about sex. If you haven’t had it, that doesn’t mean you can’t understand it. Take a look at the Sexperts Lounge Blog. They have well-written guides on everything you’ll want to know about sex. (NFSW)
  • Make new friends and socialize. Expand your social circle, become a better conversationalist, and meet a girl in the process. Sometimes the best way to get over a previous relationship is to see what great opportunities are still around.

Always take the shot

Become more of a yes man. Push yourself consistently to try new things and pursue your goals. Every time that voice in your head tells you “I can’t” or tries to convince you to bail out, tell yourself “no excuses”. Each instance you let your brain stop you, you are crushing your chances for greatness.

Confidence comes from experience and the more you expand your comfort zone, the easier it gets. The more I said “yes” to things, the less mental resistance I had to take the next step. There’s nothing sexier than a man with passion who goes after what he wants.

  • Check out “No More Mr. Nice Guy” by Dr. Robert Glover. The first chapter alone has changed the lives of many men I’ve known. It’s all about getting in touch with your emotions, needs, and desires as a man. It will rip apart your fears and help you become the man you want to be.
  • Write a bucket list of things you’ve always wanted to accomplish. Start checking them off one by one. Whether you want to travel somewhere, take flying lessons, go scuba diving, or learn guitar — do it. You’ll feel more satisfied while building an exciting, attractive lifestyle. Become your own most interesting man in the world.
  • Talking to a girl at a party and wondering if you should ask for her number? Go for it. See a cute girl reading a book at Barnes and Noble and want to say “Hi”? Bite your lip and introduce yourself. Want to go on a date with the girl you met last night? Man up and text her to get drinks, go to a museum, pick apples, or grab some ice cream.

Ask for help

Know that you’re not alone. I couldn’t have learned or done half the things I did with dating if it weren’t for assistance from my friends. It’s not weird to get a little push from someone close if it helps you out, and vice-versa. Don’t be scared to ask a friend to go out with you and encourage you to socialize.

  • Invite a friend to grab some drinks or even chill with you during your weekend errands. When I started, talking to women was near impossible when I was alone, but having someone there made all the difference. Especially if you’re talking to more than one girl, it’s great to have a wingman by your side.
  • Challenge each other.Sometimes the only way to get the courage to talk to people is to make it a competition or game.

    Make a bet that the first person to talk to five girls buys the other person’s drink. Give your friend $25 (in $5’s) and he’ll give you $5 back for each girl you speak with. Suggest a random word or phrase that the other person has to use within the first 30 seconds of approaching a girl. Get creative and have fun with it!

  • Talk with me. For free, no strings attached, no pressure, and with no judgment – I only want to help. Whatever you want to work on, we’ll do it together. I’ll help you talk to the girl you like, advise you for a first date, break down your texts, rewrite your online profile, or throw any other questions at me.

If that didn’t motivate you enough, I’ll let the master himself do it. Here and here are two brilliant holiday articles by Seth Godin.

  1. Sebastian on January 4, 2012

    Extremely helpful, this is really good stuff.