5 Lessons in Getting Her Number

March 25th, 2011 by Nick Notas 7 Comments

Asking a girl for her number can be scary. One critical moment decides whether you might see each other again or if it’s the final goodbye.

When I started going out, I was clueless on how to approach the topic of exchanging numbers. Once while talking to a girl in Starbucks I was nervous that I stopped mid-sentence, apologized, and literally scurried away. I felt silly at the time and looking back now, I was stressing out for no reason.

After a while, I noticed a pattern of what worked and what generally didn’t. It didn’t pay to be “super smooth” or to make excuses for why I was asking. Being genuine and straightforward yielded much better results.

Through trial and error, I’ve learned some basic guidelines that should help you get the number more often. And not only get it, but have the woman respond and be excited to meet up with you again.

Don’t wait until the end

When you delay until the last minute to ask for a number, it puts more pressure on the girl. Also, it can make her feel like the only reason you were talking to her was to get her contact information. Try going for it in the middle of your interaction when things are going well.

Make specific plans

Use your time when talking to her to discover common interests. It makes it easier to suggest something you can both do and make plans together. It’s more solid if you say “Awesome, I’m free on Saturday, let’s check out that new art exhibit.” rather than “Yeah, we’ll hang out sometime.” Don’t get her number to setup a date, setup a date to get her number.

Use a statement instead of a question

Instead of asking, make a statement such as, “We should definitely do this again, let’s trade info.” and simply pull out your phone. Asking her permission for her number can build it up unnecessarily. A casual statement puts less pressure on her and makes it feel like a mutual exchange.

Make her feel special

A woman wants to feel that you’re genuinely interested in her. Right before you pull the trigger, give her a real compliment. Something like “You’re really positive, I like that,” “I love how passionate you are,” or “You’re really fun to talk to.” This creates a good vibe and re-enforces the connection between you.

Call her so she can add you

Right after she gives you her info, give her a ring to confirm it’s right. In a loud environment or when alcohol’s involved, it’s easy to mishear or mistype. When she gets your call, she can add you into her phone, too. This way when you text or call, your actual name comes up on the screen.

What’s the most interesting way you’ve asked for a number? Got any cool stories to share?

  1. franklin on September 16, 2013

    there is this lady I am interested in, I haven’t spoken to her about this though because I am afraid of its turn out..the only way I can reach her is via facebook because she is in do I go about this..I have intentions of making this lady my bride..and I want her to know my through feelings..

    • Alex on February 25, 2014

      Oh jesus that is not the right way to phrase that.

      ” I have intentions of making this lady my bride” Are you nuts?

      You don’t know anything about this girl besides maybe her info on Facebook, and you want to wife her? Get your priorities straight before you do this.

      • lordvngr on March 2, 2015


        What, I have done that before too.
        Meet this girl, went on one date with her and was SURE she was going to be my Wife Someday.

        Needless to say it didn’t work and one date was all I got 🙁

  2. Raymond on March 12, 2014

    How do you feel about giving her your business card after making your intentions known, either through direct or indirect means? It really helps you weed out the uninterested ones so you literally don’t waste your time, and if she does call/text then you know she’s interested for sure. It also shows that you are not attached to the outcome.

    • lordvngr on March 2, 2015

      This is a good idea too and I have thought about this one before myself.
      I work in IT doing desktop support and while I dont own my own business I have thought about making up some BS Business cards with my number on them to give them to ladies I am interested in.

      If she calls, she calls. If she don’t she dont.
      At least you will Know if she is interested in you or not…..

      • Shane M. on March 30, 2015

        Women won’t take the initiative and call you even if they are interested. I was nervous, but after reading several of Nick’s articles, I walked up to a gorgeous girl and told her I thought she was cute. I asked for her number about 4 or 5 minutes in. We’ve had one date and are working on a second. Just ask.
        And I would skip the bs business cards. Starting off with a lie isn’t good idea. She’s not going to call your business and ask you out on a date anyway.

      • Shane M. on March 30, 2015

        I would skip the bs business cards. Starting off with a lie isn’t good idea. She’s not going to call your business and ask you out on a date anyway.


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