How To Be Independent and Still Have an Amazing Relationship

September 26th, 2016 by Nick Notas 8 Comments

Independence and still in love

Back in May, an old friend emailed me to invite me to a private island he co-owned with some other guys. They were planning to meet up on the island and take on a few carpentry projects to make it more habitable.

What a cool opportunity, I thought – I could learn some useful handyman skills and connect with interesting people. Maybe make some new friends.

I wanted to reply immediately and say, “I’m already there!” The only problem was…

My wedding was three weeks after the date of the trip. There was still so much to do and I didn’t want to leave my fiancée alone for eight days to fend for herself.

Anyone in their right mind would say, “Don’t even think about it, Nick. It’s way too close to the wedding date. Brides freak out about this kind of stuff.”

And of course, I always want to support and help my partner, that’s what a relationship’s about. But it wasn’t so easy to just pass up an experience like this. Still, I was prepared to compromise because I knew the wedding was something we had worked on together, every step of the way.

So I sat down and told my fiancée about the invitation. Before I could really get into detail, she said, “You have to go.”

I knew we had an understanding relationship, but even I was shocked at her reaction.

She continued, “It’s an incredible opportunity. You’re going to have so much fun and meet really awesome people. I know it’s going to be tough without you here but I’ll be fine.”

She supported me because despite how important our day was, she knew this trip was important, too. She knew that nurturing my own happiness was not only beneficial for me, but for our relationship. And so when she also got the opportunity to attend a five-day teaching conference that ended the day before the wedding, I excitedly said yes.

People thought we were crazy.

Many couples struggle to build a healthy foundation because they don’t make each other’s happiness independent of the relationship, a priority.

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Learn the Art of Charisma and Become Truly Magnetic

September 19th, 2016 by Nick Notas 0 Comments

Conquer Charisma November 2016


Last week, I wrote about the incredible success men experienced at my confidence retreat.

Many of you requested a future retreat that focused on charisma — arguably the best social skill a man can have. So let me ask you this…

What if you could create deep connections with strangers in minutes? How could that expand your social circle or advance your career?

Picture yourself attracting women effortlessly and immediately, always knowing what to say. No more chasing women for a date because they’re already so interested in YOU.

Let’s make that happen. I want to help you create a thriving life with an abundance of connections and free of social anxiety.

Jason Connell (the world-renowned speaker who wrote this awesome guest post on charisma) and I are proud to announce Conquer Charisma.

This is a 3-day retreat where we’ll teach you how to draw people in with engaging conversations and a magnetic presence. We’ll provide real-world social practice to overcome anxieties and cultivate irresistible charisma to charm anyone.

Join 10 like-minded men this November 11-13 in the heart of downtown Austin, Texas in a luxury condo.

Click here for more info and apply now.

How My First Retreat Conquered Fears and Changed Lives

September 14th, 2016 by Nick Notas 12 Comments

Conquer Confidence August 2016

Pictures courtesy of Sarah Katharina Photography

Note: My new retreat has launched! If you want to become a naturally charismatic man that attracts people instantly — click here for more details.

You may remember my Conquer Confidence retreat I hosted with Julian and Kristina from LoveLifeSolved in Majorca, Spain this past August.

After months of grueling preparation to launch the biggest project I’d ever worked on, I finally found myself…

Standing in line for two hours and sweating my ass off. I was at the Majorca airport in the longest rental car line in the history of rental car lines.

It did give me a lot of time to think, though.

I was about to spend five days living with eight people I’d never met in-person before. Many of them invested their time and money to see me. Specifically, they expected me to help them find the confidence within themselves where other people or life experiences had failed.

On top of that, these people had to be fed, attended to, and entertained with engaging activities that pushed their comfort zones.

Just a little pressure…no big deal.

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Are You The Man She Wants or The One She’ll Settle For?

September 8th, 2016 by Nick Notas 14 Comments

Torn between lovers

It’s a story as old as time…

Attractive young woman feels on top of the world. Then, she hits one or more major turning points such as:

  • Her existing relationship ends and she feels lonely.
  • She faces financial hardships as a single person.
  • She feels herself getting older and isn’t receiving the same amount of male attention that she used to. She feels pressure to have kids before it’s too late.

What’s a girl to do?

She meets this new guy. He’s not exactly her idea of a leading man, but he checks enough boxes to make it worth a try. She’s not super attracted to him but he’s not disgusting, either.

She decides he’s the safe choice. He’s the smart choice. She’s thinking with her brain and not necessarily her heart when she finally decides to…


Relationships where one or both parties “settle” are often filled with resentment, disrespect, communication gaps, and a lack of intimacy. And when someone isn’t being fulfilled by their connection, they’ll eventually seek fulfillment elsewhere – whether that’s through substances, material possessions, or another lover.

And so, the questions remains, how do you make sure you’re “first choice” material and not just somebody’s backup plan?

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Online Dating is About to Get a Whole Lot Harder (And Here’s How to Prepare)

September 1st, 2016 by Nick Notas 5 Comments

Close-up of male hands using modern smartphone at night, bikeh light in the background, professional businessman typing text message on his cellphone


Next Wednesday, the online dating space will undergo a massive change. My prediction is that it’s going to get a lot harder for the guys who aren’t equipped to deal with it.

Because on September 7th….Apple will unveil the iPhone 7!

And when it comes to online dating, mobile apps like Tinder dominate the scene — which is all about your pictures.

What I’m getting to is…the new iPhone 7 is speculated to equip a dual lens camera. This will enable anyone to take photos with “bokeh”. Bokeh is the Japanese word for blur and more often, the quality of that blur.

Still confused?

When you’ve seen professional portraits you’ve probably noticed that the main person in the picture is crystal clear while the background is blurry.

That blur is the “bokeh”. It’s not some digital effect or filter, but actually has to do with the lenses’ depth-of-field and what’s in focus. It’s what turns a good picture into an outstanding one in many people’s eyes.

Currently, the vast majority of people don’t post photos like that. So an easy way to stand out in online dating used to be to grab a friend’s DSLR or mirrorless camera and take some shots. A couple of those would immediately be better than whatever you had and whatever other guys have.

Those days are over.

While Apple isn’t the first to do this, they will start the mainstream trend and other manufacturers will jump on. Within 2-3 years max, everyone is going to have high quality, semi-professional looking photos.

So how are you going to keep up with the competition?

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The Hidden Cost of Listening to Your Fears

August 26th, 2016 by Nick Notas 8 Comments

Being scared often stops us from taking action to get what we want out of life.

We don’t introduce ourselves to a new girl. We don’t send out resumes to get a better job. We don’t have that awkward talk with our partners about needing alone time.

We put those things off and tell ourselves, “well, I can always try again later.”

That’s all fine….if you actually try again later.

But what if “later” takes too long? What if later actually becomes NEVER?

When you don’t go after what you want in the moment, you’re only thinking about the short-term protection of yourself. You get to avoid any pain, embarrassment, or rejection.

What you don’t realize is that you’re trading in short-term comfort for long-term misery. It’s hard to comprehend, but believe me, the hidden cost of listening to your fears is more significant than you could ever imagine.

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The Subtle Art of Sexy Conversation

August 10th, 2016 by Nick Notas 8 Comments

Gettin' hot and heavy

Let’s talk about sex, baby…

Or at least HOW you get into more sexually charged conversations with new women.

It can be intimidating to take your conversation to that level, whether it’s in-person or over text. And I know the last thing you want to do is sound like a creepy perv sending dirty texts to a girl that has no interest in you.

But please, don’t assume that it’s wrong to use sexual conversation to flirt with women. They love it too, and not just from guys who are already their boyfriends.

Sexualizing conversation is ESSENTIAL to turning a woman on and getting her excited about sex with you.

We all think about sex and hell, most of us enjoy talking about it in the right context. And that’s the key – it has to feel appropriate.

What most don’t understand is that flirting with women is all about subtlety. You have to say a lot while only saying a little.

You don’t need to blatantly state your sexual intentions. In fact, you want almost everything to be implied initially. Then, once you’ve have started hooking up with a girl or having phone sex, you can be more obvious.

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How to Meet Women While Playing Pokemon Go

July 21st, 2016 by Nick Notas 5 Comments


You knew this article was coming…

I went out with a client this weekend and saw swarms of people playing Pokemon Go in Boston. Walking down streets, sitting on benches, strolling through parks – everyone was furiously swiping up on their phones.

I thought about how incredible it was that complete strangers could sit close and talk to one another at Pokestops. And it wasn’t just a total brofest, tons of girls were playing, too.

And then I thought about how it would be a missed opportunity for these people to stay buried in their digital world while surrounded by such a friendly real world. For all you gamer introverts out there, you’re not going to find a better, in-person commonality than Pokemon Go to help you start easy conversations.

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When to Make the Right Choice Instead of the Safe Choice

July 6th, 2016 by Nick Notas 8 Comments

We are constantly faced with challenging decisions in life.

Frequently, we choose the safe path because it’s the easiest path. It’s the one that offers the most protection. It’s the choice that doesn’t push us to experience discomfort or embrace our fears.

But that may not always be the right choice.

Because the right choice is often much harder. It may throw us into the unknown, force us to confront ourselves or others, and endure much greater hardships.

It makes perfect sense to take the safe choice and I understand why so many people follow that route. But I’m here to tell you that the decisions you make can either hinder your development or propel your individual growth.

Decisions such as…

  • Telling a friend a harsh truth. The safe choice may be to avoid straining your friendship and just let them keep making mistakes. The right choice may be to try and help them even if it means upsetting your friend.
  • Stopping someone from getting harassed. The safe choice may be to keep walking by and not getting into a confrontation. The right choice may be to speak up and tell the perpetrator to back off even though it will draw their attention to you.
  • Breaking up with someone you know isn’t for you. The safe choice may be to keep your partner and not have to be lonely or put yourself out there again. The right choice may be to let your partner find someone who does want to be with them and find someone you do want to be with, too.

I remember a major decision that changed me to this day. Let’s just say I didn’t play it safe…

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Your Roadmap to the First 60 Seconds of Engaging Conversation

June 24th, 2016 by Pete Zbrojkiewicz 4 Comments

Today my friend Pete from Beard Strokings is going to teach you exactly what to say for the first 60 seconds of conversation in any situation.

When Pete first e-mailed me, he immediately stood out. He related to me about his old days playing Counter-Strike, talked about how he loved my message of better human connections, and shared how inspired he was to write about the same subjects of bringing people together.

We jumped on a video call and two things were apparent: he genuinely wanted to know who I was and could hold engaging conversation almost effortlessly. I could tell that he was someone who had put himself out there in the past and gotten tons of real-world social experience.

He had recorded YouTube videos asking people all sorts of social experiment questions. He had spent years pushing himself to talk to strangers. And he even created a card game to help people get out there and start talking to new people.

Then I read his content. He was incredibly thorough and you could tell he was calling on his own experiences to provide legitimate advice. A lot of people “talk the talk” in social skills but few people have actually taken the journey themselves. For that, I have immense respect for Pete and the work he does. 

Welcome Pete…

There’s a person standing in front of you. Gazing into your eyes. Expecting you to say something.

You expect yourself to say something in reply, and your eyes grow a little wider as you start to realise that nothing’s coming.

Are you imagining it…or do you also see fear in their eyes? The silence has stretched too far to be comfortable and you’re desperate to break it.

You blurt out a sentence that’s barely relevant to what you were talking about. You even trip over the words as you say them.

“Did that make sense or did I make this more awkward than it already was?” — your internal dialogue.

The person responds. It’s a normal response. Thank God.

You’re out of danger for now, and your conversation has a starting ground.

If the above is your method for finding a starting ground, it’s not a very good one.

It works some of the time, sure. But it’s unreliable.

The starting ground of a conversation can be whatever you want it to be. You’re only struggling to find it because you haven’t decided where you want the conversation to go yet.

It’s like you’re driving a car with a steering wheel that won’t stop spinning around, and it’s not one of Google’s self-driving cars, either. It’s a regular old hand-driven sedan.

How do you honestly expect to reliably gain momentum in your conversations when you have no control over where you’re going?

I think it’s time you installed a new steering wheel, my friend.

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