Are You as Honest as You Think You Are?

February 10th, 2016 by Nick Notas 7 Comments

Ooohh liar liar!

 

The other day, a friend was telling me about some of his wild romantic experiences. A few minutes later, he turned to me and said, “Actually, I’ve got to get something off my chest. Those crazy same-night sex stories I told you about…it only happened once.”

That shocked me. How many guys downplay their sexual ability…especially to other guys?

I told him I appreciated him telling me the truth. He replied, “Yeah, this year I decided to commit to being authentic in every part of my life. It’s helped me build better friendships, repair bad relationships, and love myself more than ever before.”

When we think about being an honest person, we focus on not bullshitting people. While that’s important, a commitment to authenticity goes much deeper than that.

It’s not only about speaking the truth to others, but being true to ourselves.

It’s about owning our feelings and intentions. It’s about embracing our values, wants, and desires. It’s about making healthy connections with the right people. It’s about accepting who we are and who we aren’t.

And authenticity is a daily, conscious practice until it becomes a way of life. It takes trial, error, and self-discovery.

But why should you care? What’s in it for you?

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How to Meet and Attract Women in Foreign Countries

January 26th, 2016 by David Perrotta 12 Comments

Dating and attracting foreign women

This is a guest post by Dave Perrotta, the founder of PostGradCasanova.com.

I’ve been lucky enough to live in four different countries and travel to several more.

(Vietnam, Colombia, Spain, and of course, the USA.)

These adventures have led to new friends, great business opportunities, and fresh perspectives.

But one of the most interesting aspects of it all has been dating foreign women.

For me, it’s an exciting way to experience and learn a new culture. Plus, it’s given me some unforgettable memories.

A word of warning: meeting and attracting foreign women isn’t always as easy as people would have you believe. You need to keep an open mind, be patient, and sometimes take a different approach than what you’re used to.

But if you can figure it out, you’re in for some amazing travel experiences.

I’ve condensed what I’ve learned into a few basic guidelines. Whether you’re traveling through for a short time, or moving to a foreign country indefinitely, these guidelines will help you have more dating success.

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Embrace Curiosity and Connect With More People

January 20th, 2016 by Nick Notas 6 Comments

Be Curious

 

Over the last few years, my fiancée and I have met a lot of new people. And we’re genuinely curious and love discovering what makes people special.

After hanging out with new friends, we almost always enjoy talking about the cool things we learned from them.

“Tom has been working hard on his PhD in Neuroscience. His research on how drugs affect our brain chemistry is fascinating.” “Jamie just came back from Spain and told me about running with the bulls.” “Nicole and Austin told me about their dreams of opening up a progressive day care.”

Eventually, we both end up wondering, “Hey, did anyone ask us about us?”

Sadly, the answer is often…not really.

Now I don’t think that these people meant to ignore our good stories, but it does say something about how essential curiosity is to conversation. I’m experienced in asking probing questions that spur people to tell personal stories. Other people don’t always know how to do that.

What’s important to me is finding out who’s willing to invest back in me, and who’s worth building a stronger friendship with. Because when someone is curious to know more about your life, it shows that…

They care.

Showing a person that you give a shit about them is crucial to gaining their trust and interest. Being truly curious makes you stand out from the rest of the superficial crowd.

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The Importance of Setting Healthy Expectations

January 7th, 2016 by Nick Notas 6 Comments

I want MOAR

When I met my girlfriend, we hit it off immediately. We had a few great dates and really started to connect. Then one day she suddenly began acting kind of distant.

My expectation for a good relationship included healthy and steady communication. So the next time we met up, I said something like…

“Not sure why you’ve been playing hard to get. I value my time and while I like spending time with you, I want to invest my energy in people who want to connect with me, too.”

I started setting the expectations of what I was looking for.

She immediately apologized. She admitted that she had started to develop feelings for me and was nervous to mess things up. So she listened to some friends who told her to “play it cool”.

Imagine if I hadn’t spoken up and just acted distant back to her. That would’ve resulted in frustrating miscommunication where neither of us were happy.

But that’s exactly how so many guys react in similar situations. And I’m tired of seeing them struggle with uncertainty and missed opportunities.

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5 Dating Lies You Tell Yourself

December 23rd, 2015 by Nick Notas 10 Comments

Our mind is incredible at constructing artificial limits. And while these beliefs begin as imaginary, they soon manifest into actual obstacles.

When you tell yourself that you can or can’t do something, you then act accordingly. You don’t take a new risk because you don’t see the point. Why attempt something that’s impossible?

By doing so, you cultivate a reality that proves yourself right. This bullshit controls so many men’s dating lives and ruins their success with women. My job as a coach is to call these limits out and break your reality – thus showing you what you’re really capable of.

As Bruce Lee famously said,

“If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.”

Here are 5 lies about dating you need to stop perpetuating to reach your full potential.

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How to Stop Being Devastated By Rejection

December 9th, 2015 by Nick Notas 10 Comments

The weight of rejection

I’ve written a lot about rejection.

I’ve told you how to reject someone in a healthy manner. I’ve talked about strategies for coping with rejection in the moment. I’ve even shared my own stories of rejection and the insight I gained from them.

One thing I’ve always advised is not to take rejection personally. But, I haven’t written a guide explaining how to do that — until now.

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Women Give Terrible Dating Advice to Men

November 25th, 2015 by Nick Notas 14 Comments

Bad Dating Advice

I’m sure you’re thinking…”But they’re women! They must understand what other women want!”

Nope, not necessarily.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t get a woman’s point of view on your dating life. But, their advice can actually hurt your chances more than it helps you.

And this isn’t because female friends want you to be forever alone. Their insight comes from a place of compassion – and that’s usually a big part of the problem.

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How to Overcome Anxiety in Critical Moments

November 12th, 2015 by Nick Notas 6 Comments

Every day we’re forced to make decisions that impact our lives. Most of the time, we don’t think twice about them.

Moments like…

Grabbing what you want for breakfast. Choosing a new book to read. Picking out the color of comforter you want.

These decisions are relatively simple, low-risk, and don’t cause us a lot of struggle.

But there are some decisions in our life which are downright terrifying. These usually require more emotional investment. They may expose us to rejection or judgment. They may influence our future greatly. And they can make or break our relationships.

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Why is Sex Outside the Relationship So Wrong?

November 4th, 2015 by Nick Notas 14 Comments

Vintage_Love_Triangle

When you think of someone cheating on their partner…what words and feelings come to mind?

Asshole? Douchebag? Slut?

For most people, cheating is black-and-white. It means you’re a horrible human being.

I don’t completely agree with that and it trivializes a complicated subject.

Some studies show that the rate of infidelity in marriages is around 25%, some estimate 30-60%, and others claim around 45-60%. The numbers are even higher when you talk about non-marital relationships.

What’s even more interesting is that 74% of men and 68% of women admitted they’d have an affair if they could get away with it.

So at the very least, you’re saying a good chunk of the people in your life are shit people. Something’s off.

In this article I hope to have a vulnerable discussion on why cheating is misunderstood and why sexual experiences outside the relationship can actually be healthy.
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How to Pass Tests From Women

October 22nd, 2015 by Nick Notas 5 Comments

Class is in session bitches -- let's do this

 

Men love a good challenge. When we have to work for something, we see it as more valuable. We tend not to appreciate what’s handed to us as much.

Think about every good story ever written. It focuses on the hero’s journey. The main character must face some struggle which makes his victory that much sweeter.  If there was no tension, no battle, nothing to work for — it would be…boring.

The same goes for dating. A lot of men complain that they don’t want women to play any games. They just want them to be upfront. But what we say can be different than what we respond to.

When a woman is too available or shows too much interest early on, many men become hesitant. They question why things are so easy. And they are less attracted because of it.

So on many occasions, women are forced to challenge men in order to win their affection. And you need to be ready for when that happens. School is in session.

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