“You’re ready to do your first full approach. See anyone you like?”
“Well, there was this cute girl who worked at Teavana.”
“Great, let’s go talk to her.”
I spent Sunday afternoon with a new client overcoming his approach anxiety. We practiced greeting girls, giving genuine compliments while passing by, and asking for gift recommendations.
But this was the first girl he’d ever talked to with the intention of getting a date.
His nerves came on strong as we walked into the store. It was quiet and there were three other employees near her.
I tried to get him to move a few times but he was frozen. I looked him and said, “No matter what happens, you’ll be happy you did it.”
“You really think so?”
He walked over to her, hands and lips trembling. “I..I…think you’re cute.”
She perked up, “Thanks!”
“Do you want to grab coffee?”
“You mean right now?”
With a nervous yet playful laugh he said, “No not right now! I mean outside of work sometime.”
“Yeah, sure!” Before he got a chance to pull out his phone she said, “Let me get a piece of paper.” and walked to the back of the store.
She came out and led him to the checkout counter. She wrote her number down and slid him the paper.
“What’s your name?” he asked.
“I like that name – Eastern European, right?”
She smiled, “Yeah, my dad’s Ukranian.”
“Mmm, I just had Borscht for the first time last week.”
“I have to get back to my friend, but I’ll text you.”
They said their goodbyes and parted ways.
He texted four hours later, telling her he had fun talking to her. She replied with a smile and said the same. They exchanged a couple of messages about their jobs (she’s a yoga instructor during the week) and he invited her for after-work drinks.
They have a date tonight.
This isn’t some freak, out-of-the-ordinary occurrence. I’ve watched dozens of guys have similar experiences for six years. Men who never knew how easy and simple it could be to meet women during the day. That is, until they saw it for themselves.
Here are 7 reasons why you should try it, too.
1. Everyone’s okay with it.
I understand, the daytime is not a designated “social gathering” venue like a bar, club, or party. And you don’t see men going up to women outside of those environments.
But that doesn’t mean it’s wrong or weird. Correlation does not equal causation. You’re not going to grope or harass her, you’re just introducing yourself.
Ask any single guy if he would love the ability to walk up to a beautiful women and connect with her. Nearly every time you’ll get a “hell yes!”. It’s just that most guys do not have the courage to do it.
As for women, I’ve worked with and received e-mails from hundreds of men who’ve successfully met girls during the day. The women are excited to go on dates with these guys, create romantic connections, and WILLING choose to be intimate with them.
The proof is right there! Many single women want to meet great guys wherever they are.
Still want to experience it for yourself?
Go out, have a big smile, and casually compliment 10 women on something they’re wearing. Many will light up and thank you. Those same women would be happy to chat with you.
2. Rejections are never as harsh you imagine.
What about the women who aren’t interested in talking to you? Do they flip out? Do they run away in terror? Do they look at you in disgust?
No. 99% of the time you’ll get a variation of “Thanks but I actually have to get going.”, “Thanks but I’m not interested.” Or “Sorry but I have a boyfriend.”
Yeah it can sting a little but you’ll realize it’s not a big deal. It doesn’t kill you and guess what — you can go talk to another woman who will be interested.
3. Women are just as nervous as you are — if not more.
With the client I took out on Sunday, he asked a girl in Sephora for a gift suggestion. Immediately you could see her body language change.
She giggled nervously. She could barely maintain eye contact. She kept touching her hair. Yet she still wanted to keep talking to him.
Even he noticed it. He said, “I was so nervous going in, but then seeing her so nervous made me feel a lot more confident.”
Women are human. They aren’t social wizards who are completely confident every time they meet someone new.
This is especially true during the day where…
4. You are inherently seen as confident.
You’re not in a designated “social environment”, right? This works IMMENSELY in your favor.
She’s probably not dressed to the nines. She’s not with her friends with the intention of socializing. She doesn’t have alcohol. She doesn’t think 10 guys are waiting to talk to her.
You have no competition.
Women are rarely approached during the day. They get casual comments or conversations but not much more.
So when you approach her, she automatically sees you as courageous. You had the guts to go up to her when others haven’t. You’re doing it sober. And she’s taken aback because she wasn’t expecting any of it.
Even when you’re stumbling and stuttering, it often comes off as endearing. You’re doing this despite your fear of saying hi to a beautiful woman. You overcame it because you had to speak to her.
5. You don’t need an amazing “opener”.
You don’t need something clever or scripted.
You already know what to say. Just be direct with her – it’s polite yet bold. It cuts through the ambiguity, shows your genuine intentions, and it works.
“I saw you sitting over here and I had to introduce myself.”
“I know this is out of the blue, but could I join you for a coffee?”
“Excuse me, I know this is random but I think you’re really cute and I wanted to say hi.”
“Hi. I love your scarf, what’s your name?”
She knows right then that you potentially want to connect with her as more than a friend. She has to make a yes or no decision. Her response is an amazing litmus test on how she feels.
If she continues talking, you know it’s on. She’s open to the possibility of seeing where it goes. She’ll almost always give you her number if you ask.
Otherwise, she’ll give you the polite turndown (as seen above) within 20 seconds and you can move on, no worse for the wear.
6. Your conversations can be concise and “boring”.
People are out during the day to get stuff done. They’re not trying to party. There is a built-in time limit and vibe that works in your favor.
Unlike a bar, you need less than 5 minutes to make a solid impression and get a number. You don’t need to be high energy like in a club. You don’t need to create much physical contact other than a handshake and maybe a hug. And you don’t even need to be overly flirtatious.
Learn the basics of what to say after you introduce yourself. Then you can just ask and answer a few simple questions to get to know each other. Mix in a laugh or two if you can. But that’s all you really need.
Again, the perception of your confidence does most of the work for you.
7. Getting a number really isn’t hard.
Only talked to her for a minute? Go for her number. Near her co-workers? Go for her number. Think you’re too nervous for her and she’ll say no? Go for her number!
Since you’re being direct, time is on your side, and you look confident — way more women will say yes than you think. Even in the most unlikely situations.
A guy went into a small, crowed store and nervously told an employee she was cute. She didn’t just rattle off her number and walk away. She took the time to get a piece of paper, write it down, and continue conversation.
What would have happened if he never went up to her?
He would have still believed it was “creepy” and that he had no chance with her. And he wouldn’t be on a date while I’m typing this.
Always ask for the number. If you don’t get it, you’re in the same situation you were before. But at least you know you didn’t leave an opportunity behind.
Guys…meeting women during the day is easy. It might be the easiest way possible. The hard part is all in your head.
I believe in this idea so much that I’m writing my first book on it. I want to show men around the world just how capable they already are.
For now you’ll have to trust me when I say it’ll be okay. Take a shot, it won’t be a horrifying experience. In fact, a few minutes may lead to some of the most memorable experiences of your life.
P.S. If you still want someone to help you meet more women, let’s have a free strategy session.