How to Make Your Woman Feel Sexy Every Day

November 1st, 2011 by Nick Notas 11 Comments

Sexy CupidMaking your woman feel sexy isn’t as simple as saying, “Baby, you lookin’ fine!” and jumping her bones. Yes, telling her how beautiful she looks is important, but there’s a lot more to it than that. You have to make her feel it deep down and truly believe it.

No one feels sexy every single moment of every single day. Your girlfriend might wake up and think she looks disheveled. Maybe she’s had a tough time at work and is tired, un-showered, and stressed out. Maybe she’s just too distracted to focus on being intimate. It’s part of your job as her partner to keep her feeling positive, radiant, and attractive.

I’ve made the mistake of getting “too comfortable” in a relationship before – I think most of us have at least once. You take for granted what you have and stop reminding her of her allure. Next thing you know, things aren’t hot as they used to be and you’re frustrated trying to figure out where the spark went.  You’re asking her flat out for sex and then complaining when you aren’t getting any.

You can’t logically convince a woman to be turned on. You have to tap into her emotions and get her excited for you. She should be craving your touch and longing for the closeness intimacy brings.

When you make a woman feel hot, it makes her want to be hot for you. She’s more passionate, sexual, and confident about herself. It gets her thinking about how much she wants you because of how much you desire her. It keeps the fire burning between you and the sexual chemistry on full blast.

Now, exactly how do you get her there? Being flirty and physical is one part of it. But don’t overlook the equally critical part of surprising her with romantic gestures, thoughtful favors, and demonstrating that you care deeply about her. The rush of positive emotions she gets will help her feel closer to you and physically act on it.

Want to have your lady throwing herself at you? Try some of these:

  • Wrap your arms around her from behind while she’s cooking and kiss the back of her neck.
  • Take her out for an adventure together. Have her dress up to go dancing or try a new restaurant in the city. Go for a Sunday picnic on the water or a walk through the park.
  • Be a kid again. Eat too much ice cream, have a water balloon fight, or hit up Six Flags.
  • Text her something meaningful or sweet to brighten her day.
  • Text her something naughty and let her know how much she turns you on. She’ll love knowing that her man can’t wait to be with her.
  • Surprise her with a gift simply because you want to show her how gorgeous she is: earrings, flowers, tickets to her favorite band or play, or a hand-delivered Starbucks latte. The little things count too, it’s the meaning behind them that matters.
  • Tell her she’s beautiful at her most “un-beautiful” times: when she wakes up, when she’s sick, and when she least expects it.
  • Touch her morning, noon, and night (or whenever you see her). Stroke her hair in the morning, discreetly grab her butt at lunch, and kiss her stomach while on the couch at night.
  • Whisper steamy compliments in her ear while you’re at a party or bar.
  • Don’t rush foreplay. Caress her thighs, nibble on her neck, and build her up naturally.
  • Mix it up during foreplay. “Dirty talk” doesn’t always have to be explicit; talk sensually about what you’re doing to her body. Gently describe what she feels like, tastes like, and smells like in an erotic and flattering way.
  • Come home and take her to the bedroom right away. Show her how irresistible she is and that you have to have her now.
  • Have her pose for you and take suggestive pictures of her (just make sure they don’t end up in the wrong hands!)
  • Explore your sexuality together. Role-play and try on new costumes. Discover her secret desires and act on them. Go to a sex shop and pick out something for a special night.
  • Give her a sensual massage with oils. Take your time to caress every inch of her body and let her know how much you cherish it.

Come up with your own creative ideas to express your feelings, too. In turn, she’ll feel more appreciated and sexually proactive. It’s a win-win for the both of you.

Need some personalized relationship advice? Ask the specialist.

  1. Jordan on January 2, 2013

    “Tell her she’s beautiful at her most “un-beautiful” times: when she’s sick”

    No. Flat out, stupidest idea ever.
    When I read that, first thought that came to mind was the memory of my girlfriend lying drunk on the floor of a toilet after throwing her guts up everywhere. Do you honestly expect me to have just thrown in a “Lookin’ good babe!” In that sort of situation, I don’t think so.
    Sure my girlfriend is sexy, a lot of people think so. But there are just some situations where they aren’t, and they know it, it’d be foolish to try and convince them otherwise, they’ll take future compliments as a joke or a lie, then what do you do? Nothing. You’re fucked.

    • Nick Notas on January 4, 2013

      You’re clearly taking this way out of context. I’m talking about when she’s feeling under the weather. Not hammered and praying to the porcelain goddess.

      Many people feel unattractive and self-conscious when they’re sick. You shouldn’t lie and say “Oh my god babe you’re at your absolute hottest right now!” But there’s nothing wrong in reminding her that you still find her attractive as a person — regardless if she’s sick.

      In fact, doing it this way is honest and shows compassion. It shows you can appreciate her even at the worst of times. A secure girl isn’t going to think you’re a manipulative, lying asshole. She’s going to think you care.

      • Kay on May 6, 2013

        I’m a woman and I completely disagree with Jordan. Every woman loves to be told she is beautiful no matter what. If your girlfriend is a sloppy, drunk mess you should be taking care of her better on not leave her lying on the floor in the first place. And that obviously wasn’t the case that Nick was referring to in his advice. As a woman, when we are just waking up out of bed with messy hair and no make up on it is so nice to still be told we are beautiful. Or when we are sick and feel terrible, it would brighten up our day to be called beautiful then as well. My boyfriend of four years calls me beautiful all the time, but it is the times when I least expect it that mean the most. You should always think your girlfriend is beautiful no matter what state she is in, and if you feel like you are “lying” to her by calling her beautiful than you might want to reconsider your relationship in the first place. There should never be a time when “she is not and she knows it.” When you truly love someone they will be beautiful as a person to you, even if she is a mess. My boyfriend can be up pulling all nighters stressed from doing work or be sweaty and gross from yard work and I still see him as the most handsome man alive and I make sure he knows it too. Your girlfriend should always be attractive to you even at her worst, and although you may not be all like, “You’re looking so sexy right now!” it would still mean a lot to her if you showed her how beautiful you thought she was inside and out even during those times. You appear to be very ignorant and shallow, just from reading your comment, and I doubt you and your girlfriend are even together anymore or if you are then she won’t stay long when she finds a real man that appreciates and respects women and will treat her like a beautiful queen. You clearly took everything Nick said out of context and just flat out made yourself look like a fool. Your advice is excellent Nick, keep up the good work! Every guy really should read your articles! We’d have a lot more gentlemen and successful relationships!

        • stephen on August 26, 2014

          My wife is a woman and she has specifically noted that she feels as though I am being fake when saying that to her when she knows she is not looking good. In other words it will cause her to question your credibility next time so this statement is wrong for certain women.

          • pom on August 5, 2018

            It’s not saying “your hot” what changes her feeling. It’s how you truly love her at her worst. When you’re honest it will be more natural and acceptable for her and obviousely meaningfull.

        • BT on July 25, 2016

          Dear Key,

          I want to know you personally.

  2. John on February 22, 2013

    Any of those suxual things, grabbing her butt from time to time, taking her strait to the bedroom, asking her to pose for u and take pictures, going to the sex shop, explore sexuality, talk dirty to her In er ear while we are out, tell her how much I want her, none of it works. Truth is if ur lady wants u and u do these things she will DEFINATEly give u what u want. If she doesn’t care how you feel and doesn’t want to please h and make u feel desired then she won’t nomatter what you do. I’m an excellent partner and I love my girlfriend to death, and I do all of these things out of love and desire for her. I want her to feel sexy, as well as I want us to have a fun, mutually satisfied sex life. It doesn’t work for me, unfortunately. She just gets mad when I try to tell er how sexy she is and says I’m a pig and all I want is to get laid. Funny thing is, that’s not true. But regardless of what I do or how muh I try to make er feel good about herself over nothing in return, just pity sex once a week if I’m lucky and I lower myself to ask. I’ve never had to ask for sex in my life, and that’s how it should be for both parties. You should both want to try to please each other completely. We used to be pretty crazy in bed and she couldn’t get enough of me. We have a very happy relationship otherwise, and are both very athletic and attractive.

    • Sheila on February 3, 2015

      So she has a self confidence and self value issue. :-/ it doesnt have to be that way. I have been married for 8 years…. and have always known from his actions he loves me… but never “felt” like he didnt really love me. Its definitely a point where the two lines intersect that you arent like other men. I have felt the Sam about my husband…. just say things because its what he should say. But I had to bring walls down before I could accept that from him… to feel it. She does need you…. to help her find that she is valuable. Or she’s just a bitch… I hope not for your sake 😉

  3. J. Ferrerosa on January 19, 2015

    I just said something that I hope made her day. Thanks for the help, kiddo.

  4. van on July 9, 2015

    Today I cried to my boyfriend explaining how he doesnt make me feel special and beautiful. Several times I brought this issue to him and he keeps saying he’s not that type of guy. I basically broke up with him this mrn. I feel like I deserve better. He doesn’t compliment me at all. Now it got to the point I dnt get sexualy arose for him, I have to force myself sometimes to have sex with him. I do love him, I know I do because it’s so hard to walk away.

  5. Gemma on December 8, 2016

    Sometimes there’s just too much water under the bridge and it’s too late to make any of this stuff work. Especially when you know he’s only doing it with the end result in mind. You can’t ignore or bark impatiently at a woman half the time and then suddenly turn on the nice when you want something. It’s sad that the things done early in a relationship to turn a woman on and get her interested, are, for a lot of guys, forgotten as soon as they’re “committed” and then it’s expected that we have sex with our partner without them having to do “all that stuff” that attracted us in the first place. The moment a person feels obligated to do something, is the moment desire dies. Not all people fall into this trap, but it’s surprising how many do, and are absolutely clueless about how they created the situation themselves. I’ve known both men AND women (though more men) who complain their partners SHOULD have sex with them, even though their partners don’t want to, because they’ve been given no reason to want to. In those cases, I wonder if they complainer ever asks themselves, “What did I used to do in the beginning, that made my partner so much more turned on to me than they are now?”


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