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Breaking the Three Day Rule

June 27th, 2011 by Nick Notas 5 Comments

You’ve seen it on TV, heard it from your friends, and maybe even read it in a magazine…the so-called “Three Day Rule”. The rule stipulates that after flirting with a girl and getting her number, you should wait three days before initiating contact. This way you don’t look needy, too attached, and can play it cool. C’mon, who actually believes this nonsense?

I used to. When I was younger I thought that if I held out and built suspense she’d think I was a catch. She’d see that I was busy with my social life and didn’t mind keeping her waiting. I didn’t question this strategy because everyone else said it was the right thing to do.

In reality, all it did was make girls frustrated and think I wasn’t interested. Listen, if a girl had a great time and willingly gave you her number, she wants to hear from you. She knows what she wants and she doesn’t want things to fizzle out. She wants you to call her and continue the connection – hopefully into a date. She’s not sitting there thinking, “He better not call me in the next two days or I’m going to be sooo mad!”

When I first met my girlfriend, we had an incredible night together. The next day, I called her to reconnect and tell her how much I enjoyed our time. I could tell that she was a bit surprised when she picked up. I set up a date for that same day and everything turned out well. Now, she tells me how refreshing it was to receive a call so soon instead of a late-night text days later. She was excited to see me again and I showed her that I was different from the pack.

So if you’re looking to stand out above the rest, connect with her the day after. It won’t take you more than a few minutes to make a lasting impression.

Basic Guidelines:

  • Disregard the “Three Day Rule” – if she likes you, she wants to keep in touch.
  • Call her the next day (preferably). It’s personal and has more weight behind it than texting. If you don’t have time, a text is better than nothing.
  • If she picks up, your goal is to spark your connection again. Have some light humor and make her remember how much fun it is to talk to you. Then invite her out on a date somewhere.
  • If you get her voicemail, leave a brief message. Something like: “Hey, just wanted to say I had an awesome time last night. Hope all is well, talk to you soon!”
  • Don’t keep calling her if you left a message. Shoot her a text in a couple of days.
  1. Chiara on June 28, 2011

    I’ve deleted numbers before. If he doesn’t reach out I take it as him not having had an amazing time.. & the last thing a girl wants to do is chase.. So i delete the number and move on with my life. If I get a call a few days later, I’ll consider seeing him again but only if i’m bored and with an open schedule.

    • Nick on June 28, 2011

      Exactly, it sends out the wrong signals. She’s going to second guess the time you spent together and lose the momentum you built up.

  2. Taz @ Climb the Rainbow on June 28, 2011

    “He better not call me in the next two days or I’m going to be sooo mad!”

    I actually chuckled when I read this! Believe it or not fellas, if we like you, we REALLY want to hear from you!

    Seriously, all you do by applying the three day rule is 1.) make her think you’re not interested, 2.) make her think that you’re one of “those” guys trying to game her, and 3.) make her friends think you’re an arsehole for not calling. Strangely enough, none of the above work in your favour.

    If you like her, call her. Simple.

    • Nick on June 28, 2011

      Haha, I laughed writing it, too. It’s just such a ridiculous concept.

      #2 Mhmm, and that is not a good place to be in. You look immature and hurts the good impression you made in the first place.

  3. Dan on February 12, 2015

    Question. I am kind of curious to this so called 3 day rule. I understand that it is out dated and pointless. My curiosity stems from an actual experience from 3 weeks ago. I was noticing that since I started going to trade school in the beginning of Jan 1 or 2 times a week I would watch an attractive girl get on the bus and sit a few seats ahead of me. As I would get off I would look right at her and smile, receiving a shy smile in return. Well after a few weeks of this I decided to initiate conversation for a bit on the bus before people started sitting inbetween us and out of respect for other people we ended our conversation. This time before I got off the bus I had wrote my number on a piece of paper and a little note, folded it in half and wrote “Have a good day.” on the front and then handed it too her just as I was about to step off the bus. (At this point the so called 3 day rule appears) 3 days later in the evening I get my first text from her which I did not honestly expect.

    Is there something behind this that I can’t read from the energies?

    **Note: I have more information that may help you but do not want to share it with everyone. Email me personally and we can continue.**