How to Be Yourself Around Girls

April 20th, 2011 by Nick Notas 3 Comments

Don’t be fooled, women know when you’re being genuine with them. Even when they can’t put their finger on it, something in the back of their mind is throwing up red flags.

One of the most important lessons I learned in dating was to be 100% authentic. I dropped the shenanigans, pre-planned lines, and started being me. It was the best decision I’ve ever made and instantly I began building better and stronger connections.

I advise you to start doing the same and feel how liberating it is. It’s time to throw away the masks and start being real.

Be genuine with your intentions

If you like a girl as more than a friend, then you should act as such. Pretending you have no feelings for her and only see her as a friend won’t get you anywhere. It will most likely leave you frustrated and in the friend zone.  You’re being untrue to yourself and to her.

Embrace your sexual side as a man – it’s natural. Learn how to create chemistry and tension by teasing, being playful, and through your touch. A woman has to feel that raw attraction before she can be romantic with you. You’ve got to make the moves if you want things to progress. Remember, if at any time she expresses that she’s uncomfortable, be a gentleman and respect her boundaries.

Be genuine with your questions

Common problems I hear from guys are “What do I ask her?” “What do we talk about?” There’s no stock answer that will make her jump into your arms, it all depends on you.

What do you want to know about her? What’s important to you in a woman? Ask her about the things you truly care about. Why ask her about the game last night if you really don’t care? Try topics that intrigue you: find out if she likes rock music, if she’s into psychology, if she goes hiking, or what her passions are.

Your conversations will improve and you will pique girls’ interests. Not many guys have the guts to be their normal, curious self and it often surprises girls. You’ll look confident while showing you actually want to get to know them. And that’s the secret, if you’re authentic in your questions and conversations, she’ll notice and respond positively.

Be genuine with your interests and passions

If you’re a film geek at heart or an aspiring writer, express it without shame. Hiding what you’re into will only come back to bite you — If you end up getting together, she’ll find out eventually anyways. Be honest from the start and she’ll respect you more for it.

You’d be surprised at how many girls will be interested in what you have to say. I’m a tech nerd at heart and I talk about it proudly. I explain it with enthusiasm and in an understandable way that gets her excited as well. I even turned my girlfriend into a Redditor. Plus, why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t appreciate you for you? There’s always someone who will.

Be genuine with your values

If a girl says something you truly disagree with, don’t be afraid to speak your mind. Of course, be reasonable and don’t start an argument, but express how you feel. Too many guys become “yes” men around women and will agree with anything they say. You’ll stand out and make a great impact on her by being bold and discussing your thoughts.

Hold your values and what you believe in closely — they make you who you are and give you character. You can’t try to fit into a certain mold just to impress someone or win them over. It’s a game you can’t win and you’ll end up resenting it in the long run. Be your own man.

  1. Matt on June 25, 2013

    I don’t think that’s true. My best friend has been married to two women in a row who he wears “a mask around.” He jokes about “never talking about Fight Club” etc. I really don’t think either of these women really knows who he is. It’s not like his real self is bad or anything but he puts on an act for his partners of this sort of boring,pedestrian, goody-two-shoes guy who never uses words like cunt etc. Our mutual friends and I have discussed how it is annoying for us bc. we feel like we must participate in the deception.

    • Daniel on January 14, 2015

      If I may, just because he has success with women by putting on a mask doesn’t mean he’s creating genuine or fulfilling relationships.

      You said he’s had two wives. Why two? Maybe this is a hint that things aren’t going so well in his romantic life.

  2. Nice on September 21, 2015

    Hey man, usually these type of blogs are full of tryna get her just as “sport”, but you wrote a really good post. It is a definite truth u have to just be yourself get rid of masks no matter if she likes it or not, be true and not fake.