The Mask of Misogyny

August 16th, 2011 by Nick Notas 2 Comments

Jim Carrey The Mask

I can spot the difference between a confident man and an insecure one from a mile away. It’s not very hard, either. All you need to do is look at how they talk about and treat women.

There are a lot of guys out there pretending like they’re hot shots. They brag about how awesome they are, how many girls they sleep with it, and when they get rejected, they always find something wrong with the woman. They’re perfect in every way because if they believed anything else, they’d fall apart.

It usually starts with their young interactions with the opposite sex. Maybe they told a girl they liked her and she laughed. Maybe their high school or college girlfriend dumped them and crushed their spirits. Maybe they’ve never even dated a girl at all. Their loneliness, frustration, and anger turns into resentment, insecurity, and overcompensation by being arrogant.

By the time they reach adulthood, their emotions are so fragile that they become completely closed off. They protect themselves from people (women especially) and struggle to let them in. This makes it even more difficult to create healthy connections and perpetuates a cycle of unhappiness. The longer it continues, the worse it gets.

Then they start lashing out. They enjoy putting women down. It comforts them to think of women as objects: another notch on the belt, another conquest to boast about. They think all women are cold-hearted, use people, and that independent, sexual women are automatically deemed as sluts. They become controlling, jealous, and manipulative partners.

What makes it worse is that other men often idealize these guys. They cheer them on, think it’s funny, and look up to their negative attitude and mistreatment of women. This ignorant mentality is infectious and causes more men to embrace the misogynistic method as a way to attract women.

It’s easy to get confidence mixed up with being a dick. Here are some examples to clear things up:

Confident vs Insecure

  • Admitting you’re nervous or afraid vs making excuses for not talking to her
  • Being sexually forward vs crossing personal boundaries
  • Wanting to actually get to know her vs killing time until she sleeps with you
  • Accepting rejection in stride vs blaming her and making cruel remarks afterward
  • Being honest about your intentions vs lying about your feelings to get her in bed

Let your guard down. Continuing on the road of hate and cynicism leads to a life of unfulfilling relationships and stunted personal growth. The strongest men are those who come to terms with their emotions and allow themselves to be vulnerable. That takes true courage.

No matter what the circumstances, it’s cowardly to harbor bitterness from your past and take it out on women who did nothing wrong. The mask of misogyny tries, but fails, to conceal deep insecurity. Remove it and be a better man.

  1. Jorge on December 28, 2013

    I actually needed to read this post.
    I’m a teenager and I’m just beginning to get involved with women. I’ve been reading this blog which had really helped me a lot, and as I started to get successful with girls and friends began to “admire” me, unconsciously I got the habit of boasting about all those girls I’ve hooked up with, and forgot who I actually am.
    I consider myself a good person, kind and specially respectful with everyone, but I was starting to become one of those dicks you mention.
    I’m glad I read this post and realised the way I have to follow before it’s too late and I find myself turned into a deep asshole.
    You never fail to make me a little bit better person each time I get to read you. Thanks a lot for your job.

  2. Zan on September 28, 2015

    Where were you when i was a teenager and struggling with women ! this stuff is great nick !


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