How To Compliment A Woman:
The 3-Step Method
To Turn Her On
A great compliment is so much more than mere flattery.
A few sentences can make a woman light up with joy, feel understood, and instantly forge a deeper connection. If you add a dash of boldness, it can become an incredible way to flirt and turn women on.
I’ve witnessed the strength of compliments through my 15 years of coaching experience. Their power has also been researched extensively:
A study by HBR found something surprising: we often think our compliments might make others feel uncomfortable, but the truth is quite the opposite. Their research showed that compliments make people feel much better than we imagine. Even if we think our words might be awkward, they usually end up brightening someone’s day.
Harvard Business Review
So then why do many men I speak to rarely use compliments? Why do countless dating gurus claim that complimenting women is needy and weak?
Because when done poorly, a terrible compliment falls flat or makes a woman question your intentions.
In this article, I’ll teach you how to easily craft compliments for women that make them feel seen, aroused, and leave a lasting impression.
Table Of Contents
Why Compliments Are Worth Giving
Still feeling skeptical? Here’s why a compliment instantly elevates your romantic interactions.
- Displays confidence. It takes balls to let a girl know you like something about her, especially if it’s from the heart. You’re in a potentially vulnerable position and are willing to risk that by being forward.
- Makes your intentions known. Guys struggle with showing a girl their interest. A well-placed compliment can turn a friendly dynamic into a flirtatious, sexual one.
- Puts you in a position of choice. If you compliment her on something that genuinely impressed you, it can show that you are picking her. Something legitimate about her is winning you over.
- Shows you appreciate more than just her vagina. You want to express your desire for her, but it should be for a variety of reasons. This also encourages her to open up and display those qualities you like. Remember, no girl wants to feel like just “another notch”, even if it’s a casual thing.
5 Fundamental Rules For Complimenting A Girl
- Be succinct. Don’t ramble on about the compliment. Lay it out and then be done with it. Less is more, and throwing a casual yet insightful compliment will hit hardest.
- Don’t exaggerate. Is she actually the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen? Probably not. When you bullshit, it only makes you seem dishonest and that you’re trying hard to impress her. Your compliments should be believable because they are real.
- Use them sparingly. 1-3 compliments in a given interaction (first meet / date) is plenty. When you give them out too much, it feels desperate and each one loses impact.
- Get as specific as possible. “You’re so beautiful” is generic. While it can work, it’s not usually the best option. Listen well, be observant, and get creative. Tailor your compliments to her and say something she’s likely never heard. Avoid cheesy pre-written lines.
- Prioritize inner over outer. Compliments about personality, behaviors, or achievements are generally stronger than physical compliments. You can definitely compliment a woman’s appearance, just again get more specific. Think, “Every time you laugh, your nose crinkles in the cutest way.” Not, “You have a nice smile/beautiful eyes.”
The 3 Parts To A Bold, Flirtatious Compliment
1. Wait Until She Earns It
A great compliment starts by being a genuine compliment.
The woman you’re talking to has to feel like she’s earned your praise.
That she has done something or shown you something about her that you truly admire…and find attractive.
You can’t throw out a generic compliment to a woman you’ve just met and expect it to impress her. It doesn’t feel real and can even feel dishonest.
A compliment is a gift, not to be thrown away carelessly, unless you want to hurt the giver.
-Eleanor Hamilton
She knows she hasn’t shown you anything noteworthy about herself beyond being attractive. So your words have little impact.
And guess what? You’re just like a million other guys who have told her the same thing.
This is why first messages like “you’re cute” on online dating don’t lead anywhere. Or buying a woman a drink right off the bat at a bar usually doesn’t work.
She’ll just think you’re either desperate for her attention or trying to buy her affection – neither of which is what she wants in a man.
For example, imagine a stranger overhears you somewhere and compliments you with, “Wow, you’re so smart!” You might feel flattered, but their opinion doesn’t carry much weight.
Now imagine someone you deeply respect told you, “Your perspective is so insightful, it really challenges the way I think about things.” That would feel amazing because this accomplished person recognizes your value.
So when you’re approaching a woman, texting her, talking on the phone, or meeting her for a date…
Wait a few minutes before giving a compliment. Wait until you see something in her that you sincerely like – such as her ambition, sense of humor, or the fact that she’s so laid back.
At that moment, it will feel so much more impactful.
2. Make It Personal And Specific
The second part of a great compliment is the “why.”
You have to tell her specifically why you appreciate that quality about her.
Because most guys stop before that. They say, “You’re really ambitious” or “I love your sense of humor.” Those aren’t terrible things to say, but a lot of people can feel that way.
Instead, you want to express why that quality matters to you or why it struck you.
You can say, “I like that you’re so driven, I’m really attracted to people who are ambitious.” or “I love how open-minded you are. I feel like I could have fun riffing with you about anything.”
Expanding on the “why” behind your compliment can be done in just one sentence. It doesn’t have to be more than that.
It can help to start one of your sentences with the word “I”. When you start with “that’s” or “you’re” it’s just a bit less personal. Think, “I like how smart you are…” over “That’s cool you did that” or “You’re so smart”.
Providing that extra depth is what makes it feel special. She’s going to feel seen and understood by you – and that’s a feat that many other guys haven’t achieved.
3. Make It Flirtatious
Last but not least, the final part of a great compliment is making it flirtatious.
Not all compliments have to be flirty, but some should be.
You need to convey that you not only like her as a person, but you’re also starting to find her attractive.
And being desired by a man she admires is what starts to get her hot in the moment.
The simplest way to think about this is to consider whether or not you’d say the same thing to a male friend.
You could say to him, “I like that we can geek out about AI.”
You wouldn’t say, “I like that we can geek out about AI, you’re super hot right now.”
To turn a compliment flirty, just add a word or phrase like:
- “I love that about you.”
- “I think it’s one of your most attractive qualities.”
- “That’s really cute/sexy/hot/attractive.”
For example, “Your courage to backpack solo through Colombia is very sexy.” or “I appreciate your thoughtfulness. I think warm heart is one of the most attractive qualities in a person.”
Once you give a flirtatious compliment, it changes the dynamic forever. It can no longer remain platonic, she knows you’re trying to move it forward.
If she’s remotely open to being romantic with you, your words will stoke that fire. She’ll also start to feel comfortable flirting back since you took the first leap.
You’ll be amazed at how quickly one bold compliment can lead to the interaction getting more intimate.
Examples Of Strong And Sexy Compliments For Women
Generations of women have been wooed by genuine compliments — that’s not changing anytime soon. It’s time to show her you like what she’s got.
Remember, use the 3 part structure:
- Compliment her on what she’s earned.
- Explain why you like or noticed it.
- Add some romantic intention.
For example:
- “You’ve got very loyal friends, you must be good company.”
- “I love how fired up you get talking about your major/job/hobby, it’s really attractive.”
- “It’s nice that I can let loose with you and not have to filter myself. You’re easy to be around.”
- “You’re one of the most genuine people I’ve met. I love that you stay true to yourself.”
- “Damn, that dress was made for you. When are you gonna show me your awesome dance moves in it?”
- “You’ve got a dark sense of humor. It’s cute that you’re comfortable getting weird.”
- “I think it’s sexy you aren’t afraid to be vulnerable about almost anything.”
- “You walk like a runway model, I’m completely entranced.”
- “I’m enjoying the deep talk. You’re stimulating my mind and to be honest…it’s a little hot.”
- “You bring out my spontaneous side, I’d follow you on any adventure.”
- “The way your eyes light up when you get excited makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.”
- “It’s refreshing to meet someone who’s so close to their family. My dad is definitely my hero.”
- “The way you play with your hair when you’re thinking is cute.”
- “You’re so creative with the way you frame your photos. I’d never think of getting those angles.”
What To Do After You Say How You Feel
Once you deliver your compliment, a woman’s generally going to thank you or even return the favor. At that point, you can continue where you previously left off in conversation.
But sometimes, it can be powerful to ask her a thoughtful related follow-up question.
For example, if you say “I love how passionate you are about animal rescue. It’s really admirable,” you could then ask “What got you interested in that cause?”
Or if you give a compliment like “You seem so comfortable just being yourself. That’s a great quality,” you could follow up with “Was that always easy for you or did you work on caring less about what people think?”
Asking a related question is a natural way to keep the conversation flowing. She’ll appreciate you wanting to dig deeper into something you genuinely appreciate about her.
Just be sure your question is open-ended and not something she can answer with a simple yes/no.
4 Steps To Practice The Perfect Delivery
Your delivery can change the entire feel of your compliment.
If you say a compliment flippantly and half-looking at her, it feels friendly or jokey.
If you say a compliment directly while looking her in the eyes, it feels confident and intimate.
You need to have strong moments where you show your intent and build sexual tension.
Here are 4 steps to prepare yourself before you’re staring a gorgeous woman in the face.
1. Write Down 1-2 Attractive Qualities
Reflect on some qualities you appreciate in a woman. Write them down.
Use past experiences with women you’ve liked for reference. Or think about what makes you excited about the current woman you’re talking to.
For example: her ambition, artistic ability, or dark sense of humor.
2. Ask Yourself…Why?
Dig a little deeper, and…
Write down 1-2 reasons WHY you like those qualities in a woman.
Maybe you like someone who’s a bit of a risk-taker. Or your dog is your best friend and any woman in your life should want to be a part of that. Or it’s important to you that a future girlfriend enjoys going to stand-up comedy shows with you.
3. Practice Them Out Loud
Take the ideas you generated in steps 1 and 2.
Practice delivering compliments while looking in the mirror.
You can also look at a picture of the woman you’re seeing or find a photo of a woman you find attractive online.
Mess around with it. Try a praising the same thing in different ways so you’re not just memorizing. And don’t forget to make a couple more flirtatious.
Do this a few times until you can say how you feel smoothly and with confidence.
4. Be Mindful During Conversations
The next time you’re talking to a woman, take note of moments when she shows qualities you’re attracted to. This could be in-person or over text.
When she shows you one of those values you wrote down earlier, share your compliment.
So when she says…
“Now that my roommate moved out, I can finally cuddle my dog on the couch while we watch TV.”
You can swoop in with your compliment…
“I think it’s adorable you care about your dog so much. I like how empathetic you are.”
Real Compliments Come Easy
Overall, if you’re complimenting women correctly, it shouldn’t cause you stress. You don’t have to shower someone with endless clever compliments.
You just have to lean into something you already feel. Organic compliments WILL differentiate you from other guys who aren’t willing to put in the effort.
When I compliment a girl, I’m not making up lines to say, it’s how I really feel.
Speak from the heart and you might just win hers.
Can’t get a second date? Do women keep saying that you’re a nice guy, but they didn’t feel the chemistry? Talk to me for a free consultation so I can explain the fundamentals of flirting and design a gameplan to help you build attraction with women.
Schedule a consultation call here