Want to know my super secret way how I became a more social person? I started talking to everyone – it’s really that simple.
I meet guys who constantly struggle with talking to others and want to know the quick fix that’s going to make them a social butterfly. When I say “You have to push yourself to talk to everyone you encounter through your daily life,” they are taken back and don’t believe it. They think I’m giving a cop-out answer and there’s some hidden truth that I’m not sharing.
Like anything else, becoming social is something you have to develop and actively work on. You have to get the experience, have some failures, learn your lessons, and keep practicing.
Put In The Work
You can’t expect to be proficient in something without using a hands-on approach. So why, then, do we seek the magic pill when it comes to being more socially confident and improving our dating life?
Years ago, I wasn’t fully comfortable in my own skin when around other people. I struggled to express the real Nick because I was afraid of what people would think, what they would say, and that they might reject me. It was a silly fear, but it was real in my own mind.
I realized that the only way things would get better to face them head-on.
I fell in love with people, their stories, and their unique personalities. I became interested to hear what others had to say and to share my own thoughts and passions with them. Instead of shying away from new faces, I openly embraced them and got excited to connect with them.
Naturally, I also became more comfortable and confident with myself. The fears I had of being judged melted away. I enjoyed showing the real me to others and it was up to them to accept that person or not.
I was being the best Nick I could be and I felt better than I ever had before – it was liberating and changed my life completely.
Be Social Throughout Your Day
Start small and interact with the working people you come across daily.
The barista who makes your morning coffee, the toll booth guy, the cashier ringing you up at the grocery store. Even simple small talk like “Hey, how are you?” and “Thank you, have a great night!” (with a warm smile) will begin to make a big difference.
Seriously, I make chit chat with every single person and you should, too!
As for dating and getting more comfortable with women, it’s the same thing. You can’t be afraid of striking up conversation with women or you won’t have the dating results you want.
Introduce yourself to that girl sitting on the train, the cute blonde reading Vonnegut in the coffee shop, the pretty brunette standing behind you at the post office. You’ll never know if it’ll turn into something amazing until you try.
Stop searching for that social elixir and start making things happen.