How to Be More Than Just the Nice Guy

March 23rd, 2011 by Nick Notas 2 Comments

How many times have you heard a woman say “All I want is a nice guy.” Hah, that’s a load of BS right? Well, not exactly…

While it may be true that many women are attracted to those “bad boy” types, it might not be for the most obvious of reasons. Those men carry an attitude that displays underlying qualities such as confidence, assertiveness, spontaneity, sexual energy, and passion. All of those are positive traits to have.

Women are more commonly in tune with their emotional side than men. So, when a man stirs up good emotions, a woman is more likely to feel a connection. Here’s how you can be a nice guy and maintain the bad boy’s edge:

Be genuine with intentions

If you like a woman as more than a friend, be honest about it. Flirt often, get playful, tease openly, and don’t be afraid to tell her she looks sexy. Create some sexual tension.

Stop trying to win her approval

Don’t focus on whether or not she thinks you’re cool enough. Amuse yourself, find out her interests, and let the interaction happen naturally. You can’t be in the moment when you’re stuck in your own head.

Avoid being a “Yes” man

It’s ok to disagree on some points and it shows you have your own personality. If she hates Metallica but you absolutely love them, tell her your real thoughts and opinions. Just remember not to get combative.

Talk about your passions

How often have you been nervous to talk about your own interests? Why? That’s who you really are and you should wear it proudly. My girlfriend knows all about my past affairs with Diablo and Counter-Strike and still likes me. The truth is that most women just want to know that you’re passionate about something.

Be willing to lead

Are you waiting for her to make every move or to give you the green light? Take some risks and go out on a limb. It’s better to have tried and failed than to have not tried at all.

Stand up for yourself

Hold you and your needs to the highest level. That doesn’t mean you have to be rude to others but don’t allow yourself to get walked all over. Draw your boundaries.

The point is to be a gentleman, but with a confident, fun, and exciting twist.

How have you broken free of the nice guy stereotype?

  1. Sam on July 15, 2012

    Standing up for yourself is huge and not being phased by a woman who uses her sexuality as a weapon.

    I recently was dating a pretty nice looking girl who drunk dialed me while I was away on vacation with old college buddies. What started out as a cute drunk dial turned into a rant from a complete psycho bitch. After she hung up on me, I flat out told her that I don’t deal with that kind of garbage. I also told her not to expect any calls or texts from me because I don’t deal with psycho behavior.

    The old me would buy into this bullcrap and try to make it work. I’ve been done with women disrespecting my boundaries and being single is better than dealing with a constant stream of bull.

    • Nick Notas on July 15, 2012

      That’s an extremely powerful mindset Sam. Once you understand your worth, you naturally begin to stand up for yourself and respect your boundaries. Happy to see you making the change.