Return of the Gentleman: Paying for a First Date

May 10th, 2011 by Nick Notas 4 Comments

Paying for a girl on the first date is the right thing to do. Let me take a moment to explain my reasoning behind that statement.

A woman going out on a date usually has to put more time and effort into getting prepared. Not only that, she’s taking a bigger risk by coming out than you are. Let’s face it, it’s more scary for her to come out and meet you (especially if you’re a stranger) than it is for you to meet her. Your main worry is making sure that you both have a good time while hers might be staying safe.

Treat her well and you’ll have a better chance to make a lasting connection.

Make her feel special

Covering the bill shows that you value her taking the effort to look pretty and spend time with you. It’s a genuine token of your appreciation and demonstrates you being a gentleman. Buying a girl’s meal doesn’t mean you’re a pushover unless you’re only doing it to impress her. Make it come from a real place and she’ll know that you care.

Pay quickly and don’t make it a big deal

When the check comes, take it in your hands and don’t make a fuss about it. Tell the waiter or waitress beforehand to give it to you at the end of the meal. Place your card or cash in the holder and continue your conversation together. It shows you’re not worried about it and are more focused on enjoying your time with her.

Refuse her offer to pay or split unless she insists on it

Many girls will offer to be polite and to show that they are willing to pay their fair share. Unless she truly insists on paying for the meal, simply tell her that you have this one covered and she can get you the next time. If she is persistent about it, accept her gesture otherwise it can come off as rude.

You work hard for your money and a nice woman will realize that. She’ll understand that you spending the little extra to have a great night together is a significant gesture on your part — you feel she’s worth the effort you’ve put in and you’re genuinely interested in her.

I understand that money may be a little tight…especially nowadays. If you really can’t afford dinner out, there are plenty of good dates that you can do for free or on a smaller budget. But that’s for another article 🙂

  1. Michelle on May 10, 2011

    Great advice, I really wish more guys knew this. Girls want to be treated like ladies!

    • Nick on May 10, 2011

      Mhmm, it’s less about the money and more about showing her that you respect and appreciate her being there. I think a lot of guys miss that unfortunately and don’t realize the importance of doing so.

  2. philip gray on August 23, 2014

    It would have been the right thing to do to have asked if you could have used my drawing of Humphrey Bogart instead just stealing it.
    As you have just stole it – I request that you take it down from this site.

  3. philip gray on April 28, 2018

    Can I now send you an invoice for use of my drawing ? 4 years on and you are still using it without permission.


Never Blow A First Date Again.