What an Ordinary Construction Worker Taught Me About Love

June 30th, 2011 by Nick Notas 1 Comments

Sometimes, we draw inspiration and understanding from the least expected places. One of the turning points in my life that helped me comprehend relationships was at my father’s old restaurant. It was summertime and as a curious 13-year old boy, I couldn’t help notice all the beautiful girls coming in and out of the shop. A gorgeous brunette in particular caught my eye many times over, and to this day is still one of the most attractive women I have ever seen in person.

Besides her dazzling looks, this woman had a wonderful personality, too. She was polite, always in a good mood, and loved to be social. She had the whole package and I would often think to myself, “The guy who’s dating her is so damn lucky. He’s got be handsome, rich, or famous. Only guys like that could land a girl like her.” That was until I met her husband…

As usual during the week, she came in to grab some food but this time, she wasn’t alone. Alongside her was an overweight, average-looking, construction worker with a little too much grit on him from a day’s work. “He must be her brother or a friend.” I thought. There’s no way would this girl go for him — that’s laughable. Next thing I know he’s grabbing her waist, twirling her around, they’re flirting and laughing hysterically, and she wraps her arms around him to give him a big kiss.

What is going on? How is this even possible? It didn’t make any sense. The guy didn’t look like anything special; in fact, he was probably the farthest thing from it. Yet she couldn’t take her eyes off him and everyone around could see her heart burning with attraction and love.

After they left, I went to my dad to try and get some clarification. He told me they had been married for 7 years and she was head over heels for him. It still didn’t click with me. She had everything and could get any man in the entire world…why him? My dad looked at me and said something that will stick with me forever, “He makes her happy.”

It was that simple. It didn’t matter what he looked like, who he knew, or if he was rich. What mattered to her is how he made her feel, and he made her glow more than any other man could. He was passionate, exciting, respectful, confident with himself, and knew how to stir her emotions in all the right ways. After years together, she was more attracted and connected to him than even most newlyweds.

That day, I learned when it comes to love, there’s no such thing as “She’s out of your league.” What league is this and by who’s merit? There’s no set standard or rating system that dictates the class of people you can date. There is no rulebook to tell our emotions what to do.

Want romantic success in your life? Be the man who makes her happiest. Make her feel incredible, sexy, fulfilled, and excited to share her time with you. Be someone she trusts and can count on. Dance and flirt with her in the middle of a sub shop if you have to! If you can do that, you’ll win her heart in no time.

  1. Mark on January 24, 2014

    Great article Nick! I totally agree that if you make her feel great, that is the bottom line. I had a very similar experience when I was in college. As a business major I needed to take an art elective and I chose pottery. For anyone who has ever tried to use a potters wheel to turn a vase or bowl from wet clay you know that it’s very difficult and most everyone starts out up making an “ash tray” because what else can you call something that is half an inch tall and just as thick?

    One day I walked into my pottery class and there was this “older” guy. I would say he was probably 50, He was really kind of funny looking. He was short, balding and the hair he did have was kind of long and stringy. One eye was a bit bigger and lower than the other and the rest of him looked sort of miss-matched. Then I noticed that he was making the most amazing things on the wheel, skillfully creating these paper thin little vases and cups, one right after another. I went over and started up a conversation. It turned out that he had studied pottery in Japan and had really interesting stories from all over the world. But the thing that struck me most was just how warm and open-hearted he was. The guy was kind, funny and passionate about everything. Just talking to him made you happy.

    Toward the end of the class one of the most gorgeous women I have ever seen walked into the classroom. She was easily six feet tall, blond, blued eyed, smiling and bouncing a baby on her hip. When she announced that she was looking for husband I was sure she was lost. But then she spotted the funny looking guy and went over and kissed him. He cleaned up and, they all left together. That day I was struck by how much women really appreciate a man’s personality, much more than I had ever realized.