nicknotas

I’m all about being confident with who you are, but sometimes change is necessary. No one is flawless and the man who can take an honest look at himself will prosper.

To become successful with women you don’t have to be the richest, tallest, handsomest, or smartest man. You just need to constantly improve. You need to refine yourself, grow, and evolve.

People seem to have a hard time believing that. Whenever anybody picks my brain about dating, they always ask:

“How did you improve yourself so quickly? How did you lose so much weight, pull yourself out of depression, and become confident with women? What sets you apart from everybody else?”

Nothing. I have no special powers. I harness no secret self-development technique. And there are sure as hell people more gifted than I am. But I accepted that the only way I could get the life I wanted was to change.

Up until then, I’d been protecting my ego. I was so insecure and prideful that I made every excuse in the book for why I didn’t need to adapt. Any time I had to confront a flaw of mine, I became defensive.

“I’m not going to pretend to be someone else.”
“Whatever, girls should just like me for who I am.”
“I don’t have time for this now.”

None of those excuses were actually valid.

Working on myself had nothing to do with becoming someone else — it was about being my best self. Unattractive qualities like jealousy and resentment held me back personally and professionally. I also had plenty of time to spare, seeing as I browsed the net and played Counter-Strike for hours weekly.

I’d been dumped by a long-term girlfriend, my friends moved away to college, and I struggled with depression. I let myself go and felt miserable. It’s only when I decided to see change as an ally instead of an enemy that my life turned around.

I drafted a list of qualities I wanted to develop and fears to overcome, from small to large. I wanted to fix my body language, dress attractively, and develop a stronger voice. I wanted to get in shape, handle my emotions, and meet new people with ease. I wanted to make new friends and build healthy romantic relationships. One by one I chipped away at my goals until they became reality.

Now, as a dating coach, I can’t help but push people to strive for more. I want to convince each and every one of you that accepting that you need to change is not a weakness, but a strength. It’s a forever ongoing process that is crucial to your personal growth. Those who refuse are ignorant and only hurting themselves.

If you’re not getting what you want out of life, staying in your rut will only ensure your continued unfulfillment. But I promise if you put the effort in, your situation will improve. Results don’t appear by waiting around — you have to expand your comfort zone and let your guard down.

You don’t have to be alone in this challenge. I want to be there by your side and support you to hit your dating goals, whatever they may be. For over a year now, I’ve been working hard on developing an affordable program that does just that.

Stay tuned for my very exciting announcement this Wednesday, August 22nd.

Until then I want to leave you with one of my favorite quotes of all-time, by Jiddu Krishnamurti:

“Why don’t you change?”