nicknotas

DATING AND CONFIDENCE CONSULTANT

Ask the Specialist: How to Meet Women During the Day

A fellow Redditor asked:

“I’m a 17 y/o male. I live in a very small town and have somewhat exhausted my “resources.”

So, my plan is to go out to surrounding towns and just try to find somebody there, because I’m really ready to start dating again. I’ll probably be in places like coffee shops, book stores, and just regular stores or just walking around town. Any tips on starting conversations with girls and ultimately getting a number or some equivalent?”

Another Redditor gave a great response:

“As long as you are an interesting, non-creepy person, just talk to them. Be confident, interesting, and a little flirtatious. Women love that. Comment on what they’re reading/looking at/doing, and strike up a conversation that way.”

I decided to elaborate further:

Exactly, you don’t need much more than that man — it’s easier than you think. Don’t flood yourself with too much stuff, it’ll end up hurting more than helping. It’s better to just go out there, meet a ton of women and see what works best for you and your personality. Get used to approaching, relaxing in a conversation, playing off what she says, being flirtatious, etc. Experience is the best teacher.

Basic guidelines:

  • When approaching: Always smile, hold good eye contact, slow down your speech, speak clearly, and stand tall with your shoulders back. Good body language is important, especially during the day.
  • You can start a conversation almost any way as long as it’s not a totally bland question like “Where are you going today?” Try making statements instead like “I’m totally jealous of your leather jacket.”  or even be direct “I thought you were cute and had to come say Hi, I’m X.”
  • Be curious and ask questions.  Ask things you want to know about her and riff off of her answers (statements). Don’t interview her — keep your responses to question-statement-question at a minimum.
  • Flirt a little and have fun with it! Throw in some occasional teasing, playfulness, and keep things light-hearted.
  • If you’ve been talking for 10 minutes or so, ask for her number (and maybe set something up for future) or do something with her right then. If you’ve got time to spare try saying, “Hey I’ve got an hour to kill, let’s grab a coffee.” If she can’t, you can still take her number for later.

Trust me, there’s no secret line or magic technique that is going to get you every woman. The biggest thing is to just do it. Dating is a numbers game and the more chances you take, the more opportunities will come.


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