You are not alone.
Years ago, I was terrified of being rejected by a woman, too.
I thought it was the worst possible thing I could ever experience. So much so that I didn’t approach for months when I first started going out.
That all changed one night out at the bar…
Cheesy Lines And Harsh Rejections
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t start a conversation. One of my buddies decided that we should focus on saying the cheesiest pickup lines we could think of. He said we should take the seriousness out of things and just have some fun.
There she was, long, blonde, and beautiful, surrounded by two friends. A few drinks in, I mustered the courage to walk up to her and say:
“Hey girl, is your dad a beaver? ‘Cuz DAAAAAMN!”
I didn’t expect it to work, but I thought it would get a chuckle and then I’d exit quickly.
And you know what? Her friends laughed. Woohoo, they think it’s hilarious! Wait a second, why does she look so pissed off?
She stared me down and snapped back, “Do you think that’s fucking funny or something?”
I froze. I had no idea how to respond to that. I figured at worst I’d get a cold shoulder but here she was flipping out on me.
I qualified myself nervously, “I was only messing around, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
But it was too late. She was not having it and curtly told me to leave them alone. It was a harsh rejection.
The Silver Lining Of Rejection
I’ll never forget the first thought I had walking away from that interaction: “Holy shit, that wasn’t so bad.” In fact, it was kind of funny, and having my friends there for support made it no big deal.
Since then, I’ve been rejected more times than I can count. I’ve had girls turn away mid-conversation, call me gay, and even tell me I looked like a terrorist on a scruffy day.
As horrible as all those may sound, I don’t regret a single one of them because they’re the secret to my success.
Each time I got rejected, it further reinforced that it was never as bad as I’d imagined in my head. That I didn’t die or receive any lasting harm.
It’s easy to tell yourself, “it’s going to feel terrible” but that belief is shattered when the exact opposite happens.
Rejection Is Your Ally
In between those rejections, I started hitting it off with incredible girls.
I became more confident that I could face whatever came at me. With every consecutive interaction, whether the result was positive or negative, I grew stronger and more secure in my self-worth.
This started a chain reaction that has changed me forever.
As I became less afraid, I let loose and opened up. Subsequently, women became more attracted to me and I got rejected less and less.
None of it would have happened if I hadn’t said “screw it” and taken that first shot.
Without rejection, it’s almost impossible to meet an amazing woman. Every guy that’s great with the ladies has been turned down on many occasions.
You can’t expect to know what works and what doesn’t until you put yourself on the line.
Accept that rejection is an inevitable part of the dating process. Stop avoiding it and let it empower you.