Today’s article on navigating breakups comes from my close friend Jason Connell. Jason is a psychotherapist and meditation teacher in training. He is also a world-class consultant in leadership and professional speaking. He’s always thoughtful and he’s the perfect person to tackle this sensitive subject.
Earlier this year: I’ve failed. In my hand is a note that reads, “My intention is to be my best self. To be loving and gentle until the last moment.”
Like an asshole, I did the opposite. I came in guns blazing and left cold, angry, and closed. We both knew the relationship was over; there was no need for hostility.
I muster whatever energy I can and text her, “Hey. I kinda messed that up. I assume you’ll say no to this, but is there any chance I can come back over? There were so many things about you and us that really made an amazing difference in my life and I wanted to share those too before we fully said goodbye. Certainly do what’s best for you, but if it’s at all possible, I’d love to end on a better note, one that’s more reflective of what you were to me.”
To my delight, A* texted back saying she felt the same way. We spent an hour on her balcony, holding hands, drinking wine, watching the sun set over the Rockies, and reminiscing about the good parts.
We kissed, referenced a joke from the beginning, and said goodbye.