The Quick, Easy (And Not So Cheesy) Guide to Happiness

June 19th, 2014 by Nick Notas 5 Comments

Writing Gratitude Journal


We all know we’re supposed to be grateful towards others. Say thank you. Give genuine compliments. Let people know you appreciate them and what they do for you. 

But what about the person who usually needs the most gratitude? You.

When’s the last time you’ve shown yourself gratitude?

If the answer is anything longer than 24 hours, you’re not appreciating yourself enough. And it may be destroying your chance at happiness.

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The Dating Specialist is Now

June 13th, 2014 by Nick Notas 6 Comments

Time to say goodbye

After over three years, I’m saying goodbye to The Dating Specialist brand.

I’ve written 200+ articles totaling 200,000 words (roughly 4 full books!) under this name. The site has grown to over 100,000 loyal monthly readers. And in 2 months after launching the forum, there are 110 threads and 700 posts. That’s an incredible amount of advice, support, and success stories from all of you.

Now I’m excited to announce the next step — this site has officially moved to

To celebrate this launch, I’m offering discounted coaching for the first time.

Sign up for a free consultation by next Wednesday, June 18th. If you decide to work with me as a new client, you’ll get 20% off any individual session or package of sessions.

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My Interview With Undateable’s Brent Morin on Dating, Confidence, and Rejection

June 6th, 2014 by Nick Notas 3 Comments

Nick Notas Brent Morin Justin Undateable

When I walked into the swanky Laugh Boston lounge, I was greeted by the star of NBC’s newest sitcom Undateable, Brent Morin. He looked me directly in the eyes with a huge grin and did what he does best – make jokes.

“Where do you want to sit?” he asked. Then he immediately pointed to a single chair amongst dozens and suggestively said, “Let’s share that one.” We laughed and I knew it was going to be a great interview.

Brent is spontaneous. He speaks with passion. He’s off-the-cuff and has an unmistakable energy about him. He also doesn’t write any of his material down, ever.

The stage is his outlet. And comedy is his therapy.

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How to Not Suck at Online Dating

June 2nd, 2014 by Nick Notas 8 Comments

Online Dating Frustration


Men in online dating are usually split into two categories. Those who seem to succeed with ease and those who struggle endlessly. Both sides have no idea what gets them those results.

I set out to understand this disparity. Since my last online dating article (almost 2 years ago!), I’ve re-worked dozens of men’s profiles and re-written hundreds of messages. Here are my collective findings to take your online dating from frustrating to fulfilling.

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4 Famous Sayings You Shouldn’t Listen To

May 23rd, 2014 by Nick Notas 9 Comments

Anaxgoras Philosopher

Proverbs are something we rarely question.

Maybe it’s because they’re “ancient wisdom” from hundreds or even thousands of years ago. Maybe it’s the fact that our parents passed them down to us. Or maybe it’s because they are said so often, they must be valid.

We tweet them daily, turn them into motivational posters, and allow them to influence our actions.

But I’m here to tell you that some proverbs are just wrong. Outdated. Or worst of all, destructive.

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What My Dating “Failures” Taught Me

May 14th, 2014 by Nick Notas 12 Comments

Screech in Saved By The Bell

For all the successful dating advice and stories I’ve shared…what about when things didn’t go so well?

I could lie and tell you that I’ve hit it off with every girl I’ve ever talked to. I could protect my ego and deny any existence of flaws. I could make excuses for romantic situations that went wrong.

But that would mean I accepted failure as something to be ashamed of.

There’s a reason why I put “failures” in quotation marks in the headline. It’s because I’m proud of my failures.

They were learning experiences. Stepping stones to success. The building blocks that set the foundation for the man I am today.  And I’m here to share the subsequent lessons with all of you.

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How to Know When She Wants You to Make a Move

May 5th, 2014 by Nick Notas 31 Comments

Some people believe romantic opportunities are out of our control. That they are a combination of chance and being in the right place, at the right time. 

Now there’s some truth to that. Sometimes luck plays an important role.

But the men who consistently succeed in dating have an innate ability that sets them apart:

They recognize subtle hints to consistently create their own opportunities. 

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The Two Words Holding You Back From Self-Improvement

April 28th, 2014 by Nick Notas 12 Comments


There was a time when the idea of working on myself made me feel insecure. If someone gave me personal advice, I’d get defensive or lash out. (Sorry mom and dad!)

I did what most people do when faced with the necessity of change: I avoided it. The rare times I actually tried, I’d immediately give up.

It took years for me to be able to say that I honestly enjoy investing in myself. I attribute a lot of that to gaining power from the two words that used to be debilitating:

Better and Best.

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How to Stop Being Needy

April 18th, 2014 by Nick Notas 34 Comments

Needy Child

Neediness is the most misunderstood concept in dating. Everyone seems to have an opinion on what they think being needy means:

“Don’t text a girl too soon. Wait a while before you respond. Be careful of showing your interest early on — especially if she’s REALLY hot.”

But what if I told you that those actions aren’t necessarily needy?


What if I told you that constantly worrying about whether or not you’re being needy is actually being needy?

Let’s clear up what neediness is and isn’t once and for all.

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How to Use The Art of Persuasion to Attract Women

April 11th, 2014 by Nick Notas 7 Comments

Fortune Teller

How most people visualize the idea of persuasion

The word “persuasion” makes people feel uneasy. It conjures up images of mind control or the dark arts. But in reality, persuasion is a part of our daily lives and comes in different forms.

Have you watched a show or listened to a new band based on the recommendation of a friend?

Have you ever returned a favor or assisted someone who’s helped you before?

How you ever taken the advice of someone you respected as a mentor?

These are all examples where you’re under the influence of persuasion. You can choose to deny it or you can learn how it works and use it to your advantage.

Dr. Robert Cialdini spent years researching persuasion and in 1984 released his groundbreaking book, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. While the book has a focus towards marketing, the principles apply to social psychology — including our romantic relationships.

Now before I get a dozen hate mails, I’m not condoning trickery or manipulation. Persuasion can’t control someone to do something against their will. But it is a powerful tool that can be used for good or evil.

Since I’m not into doing bad things (only naughty stuff), I’m going to focus on healthy, honest ways to implement persuasion. To help women naturally see you as a romantic interest and want to move things towards an intimate connection.

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