What My Dating “Failures” Taught Me

May 14th, 2014 by Nick Notas 11 Comments

Screech in Saved By The Bell

For all the successful dating advice and stories I’ve shared…what about when things didn’t go so well?

I could lie and tell you that I’ve hit it off with every girl I’ve ever talked to. I could protect my ego and deny any existence of flaws. I could make excuses for romantic situations that went wrong.

But that would mean I accepted failure as something to be ashamed of.

There’s a reason why I put “failures” in quotation marks in the headline. It’s because I’m proud of my failures.

They were learning experiences. Stepping stones to success. The building blocks that set the foundation for the man I am today.  And I’m here to share the subsequent lessons with all of you.

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How to Know When She Wants You to Make a Move

May 5th, 2014 by Nick Notas 23 Comments

Some people believe romantic opportunities are out of our control. That they are a combination of chance and being in the right place, at the right time. 

Now there’s some truth to that. Sometimes luck plays an important role.

But the men who consistently succeed in dating have an innate ability that sets them apart:

They recognize subtle hints to consistently create their own opportunities. 

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The Two Words Holding You Back From Self-Improvement

April 28th, 2014 by Nick Notas 12 Comments

Man_Thinking_Deeply

There was a time when the idea of working on myself made me feel insecure. If someone gave me personal advice, I’d get defensive or lash out. (Sorry mom and dad!)

I did what most people do when faced with the necessity of change: I avoided it. The rare times I actually tried, I’d immediately give up.

It took years for me to be able to say that I honestly enjoy investing in myself. I attribute a lot of that to gaining power from the two words that used to be debilitating:

Better and Best.

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How to Stop Being Needy

April 18th, 2014 by Nick Notas 28 Comments

Needy Child

Neediness is the most misunderstood concept in dating. Everyone seems to have an opinion on what they think being needy means:

“Don’t text a girl too soon. Wait a while before you respond. Be careful of showing your interest early on — especially if she’s REALLY hot.”

But what if I told you that those actions aren’t necessarily needy?

Instead…

What if I told you that constantly worrying about whether or not you’re being needy is actually being needy?

Let’s clear up what neediness is and isn’t once and for all.

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How to Use The Art of Persuasion to Attract Women

April 11th, 2014 by Nick Notas 7 Comments

Fortune Teller

How most people visualize the idea of persuasion

The word “persuasion” makes people feel uneasy. It conjures up images of mind control or the dark arts. But in reality, persuasion is a part of our daily lives and comes in different forms.

Have you watched a show or listened to a new band based on the recommendation of a friend?

Have you ever returned a favor or assisted someone who’s helped you before?

How you ever taken the advice of someone you respected as a mentor?

These are all examples where you’re under the influence of persuasion. You can choose to deny it or you can learn how it works and use it to your advantage.

Dr. Robert Cialdini spent years researching persuasion and in 1984 released his groundbreaking book, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. While the book has a focus towards marketing, the principles apply to social psychology — including our romantic relationships.

Now before I get a dozen hate mails, I’m not condoning trickery or manipulation. Persuasion can’t control someone to do something against their will. But it is a powerful tool that can be used for good or evil.

Since I’m not into doing bad things (only naughty stuff), I’m going to focus on healthy, honest ways to implement persuasion. To help women naturally see you as a romantic interest and want to move things towards an intimate connection.

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6 Dating Truths Women Need to Hear But Don’t Want to

April 4th, 2014 by Nick Notas 6 Comments

Janet Leigh Psycho

 

Last week I wanted to give some hard-hitting advice. So I wrote a post on harsh dating truths that men need to hear.

But, it would be unfair to only focus on men when there are many women who could use the same reality check, too. So here’s my follow up for all you ladies who need that advice you won’t get anywhere else. 

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6 Dating Truths Men Need to Hear But Don’t Want to

March 28th, 2014 by Nick Notas 13 Comments

Truth Hurts Lie to Me

Sugar-coated and sweet — it’s how we love to hear advice and criticism.

Getting the truth straight up makes us uncomfortable. It can be painful. It forces us to see parts of ourselves that need to be improved or changed completely.  So it’s usually easier to avoid it altogether.

Some of the most important lessons I’ve learned were not what I wanted to hear, but what I needed to hear. Harsh realities made me defensive and stuck in denial. But deep down, I struggled so much because I knew they were true.

Part of my job as dating coach is to occasionally dole out some of these harsh truths. Otherwise, how else are you going to know?  Your friends and family care too much about your feelings to tell you.

I understand your romantic life is a personal and touchy subject. So as an unbiased third party I’m here to tell you like it is – judgment-free, constructive, and blunt.

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A Forum for Gladiators, Not Spectators

March 25th, 2014 by Nick Notas 3 Comments

Gladiator Weapons

I got into self-improvement and learning to be a more attractive person seven years ago. 

Unfortunately, none of my friends joined in.

Some of them were skeptical. They thought it was a waste of time or that it couldn’t be studied. Others didn’t have the courage to put themselves out there and socialize regularly. 

If it weren’t for some guys I met through online forums, I wouldn’t be The Dating Specialist today. 

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The Beginner’s Guide to Colors in Fashion

March 21st, 2014 by Nicolas Richard 5 Comments

Suit_Colors

(Photo Source)

Hi guys, this is Nicolas from Kinowear.com. After writing about men’s biggest fashion mistakes and tackling the subject of men’s jeans, I’m back with advice on a pivotal topic…

Color.

It might seem like an easy thing to grasp, but with the wide array of shades and tones available, it’s more confusing that you’d think.

This is an obstacle for many men, who often pair colors which simply don’t go together and consequently ruin their outfits. Even if you’ve mastered the cut and fabric of your clothes, if you can’t match colors together correctly, your outfit will simply fall flat!

In this guide, you’ll learn about what colors work with what items and materials, what to avoid, and how to gradually progress to bolder colors for a more individual style.

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Are You Self-Sabotaging By Asking “What If”?

March 17th, 2014 by Nick Notas 8 Comments

What If Sabotage

Overthinking can paralyze us. Before we’ve even set out to do something, we’re already imagining countless different scenarios in our head.

This usually plays out with a series of internal “what if” questions…

“What if I fail? What if I look stupid? What if people judge me?”

We envision the worst outcomes possible. We terrify ourselves from taking action.

When you believe an experience is going to be negative, you’re likely to avoid that experience.

You’re setting yourself up to fail. And it’s because you’re asking the wrong questions. How we talk to ourselves has a powerful impact on reality.

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