5 Dating Lies You Tell Yourself

December 23rd, 2015 by Nick Notas 11 Comments

Our mind is incredible at constructing artificial limits. And while these beliefs begin as imaginary, they soon manifest into actual obstacles.

When you tell yourself that you can or can’t do something, you then act accordingly. You don’t take a new risk because you don’t see the point. Why attempt something that’s impossible?

By doing so, you cultivate a reality that proves yourself right. This bullshit controls so many men’s dating lives and ruins their success with women. My job as a coach is to call these limits out and break your reality – thus showing you what you’re really capable of.

As Bruce Lee famously said,

“If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.”

Here are 5 lies about dating you need to stop perpetuating to reach your full potential.

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How to Stop Being Devastated By Rejection

December 9th, 2015 by Nick Notas 10 Comments

The weight of rejection

I’ve written a lot about rejection.

I’ve told you how to reject someone in a healthy manner. I’ve talked about strategies for coping with rejection in the moment. I’ve even shared my own stories of rejection and the insight I gained from them.

One thing I’ve always advised is not to take rejection personally. But, I haven’t written a guide explaining how to do that — until now.

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Women Give Terrible Dating Advice to Men

November 25th, 2015 by Nick Notas 14 Comments

Bad Dating Advice

I’m sure you’re thinking…”But they’re women! They must understand what other women want!”

Nope, not necessarily.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t get a woman’s point of view on your dating life. But, their advice can actually hurt your chances more than it helps you.

And this isn’t because female friends want you to be forever alone. Their insight comes from a place of compassion – and that’s usually a big part of the problem.

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How to Overcome Anxiety in Critical Moments

November 12th, 2015 by Nick Notas 6 Comments

Every day we’re forced to make decisions that impact our lives. Most of the time, we don’t think twice about them.

Moments like…

Grabbing what you want for breakfast. Choosing a new book to read. Picking out the color of comforter you want.

These decisions are relatively simple, low-risk, and don’t cause us a lot of struggle.

But there are some decisions in our life which are downright terrifying. These usually require more emotional investment. They may expose us to rejection or judgment. They may influence our future greatly. And they can make or break our relationships.

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Why is Sex Outside the Relationship So Wrong?

November 4th, 2015 by Nick Notas 14 Comments


When you think of someone cheating on their partner…what words and feelings come to mind?

Asshole? Douchebag? Slut?

For most people, cheating is black-and-white. It means you’re a horrible human being.

I don’t completely agree with that and it trivializes a complicated subject.

Some studies show that the rate of infidelity in marriages is around 25%, some estimate 30-60%, and others claim around 45-60%. The numbers are even higher when you talk about non-marital relationships.

What’s even more interesting is that 74% of men and 68% of women admitted they’d have an affair if they could get away with it.

So at the very least, you’re saying a good chunk of the people in your life are shit people. Something’s off.

In this article I hope to have a vulnerable discussion on why cheating is misunderstood and why sexual experiences outside the relationship can actually be healthy.
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How to Pass Tests From Women

October 22nd, 2015 by Nick Notas 5 Comments

Class is in session bitches -- let's do this


Men love a good challenge. When we have to work for something, we see it as more valuable. We tend not to appreciate what’s handed to us as much.

Think about every good story ever written. It focuses on the hero’s journey. The main character must face some struggle which makes his victory that much sweeter.  If there was no tension, no battle, nothing to work for — it would be…boring.

The same goes for dating. A lot of men complain that they don’t want women to play any games. They just want them to be upfront. But what we say can be different than what we respond to.

When a woman is too available or shows too much interest early on, many men become hesitant. They question why things are so easy. And they are less attracted because of it.

So on many occasions, women are forced to challenge men in order to win their affection. And you need to be ready for when that happens. School is in session.

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How to Build and Maintain a Thriving Social Circle

October 7th, 2015 by Nick Notas 6 Comments

Super Friends Social Circle


Many people have told me how hard it is to make and maintain friendships in their adult lives. Their best buddies move away, everyone has full-time jobs, and couples spend more time with each other and less time out socializing. Moments with with friends becomes more rare and precious.

I know that once I was out of school, I felt lost. It had been so much easier to connect with people when I saw them everyday at classes. Out in the real world, I had no clue how to make friends with strangers.

But after years of challenging my social comfort zone, I’m happy to say I’ve learned how to build a great social circle. And in fact, the connections I’ve made in the last years are arguably the most meaningful.

Follow the framework below and you’ll soon make friends with ease.

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9 Romantic Reality Checks You Won’t Get Anywhere Else

September 24th, 2015 by Nick Notas 13 Comments


No psychic powers here. Just real talk.

Romance is a touchy subject.

And it’s almost impossible to get unbiased romantic advice because there are so many emotions involved. Egos can get bruised and sentimental attachments cloud judgment.

Guys always tell me how they can’t ask their friends for help because they never get the whole truth. Your friends want to spare your feelings instead of listing out all the things you could be doing better.

Similarly, you can’t ask your family members for advice because they think you’re great, just the way you are. You’re told to be nice and “be yourself” and you’ll meet someone perfect eventually. And sometimes, your parents’ religious or moral beliefs make them inflexible in helping to decide what’s best for you.

This sticky situation is what motivated me to become a coach. I wanted to educate and help people without having to hold back. Sometimes it’s tough love but it’s exactly what you need to hear.

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Becoming an Asshole Won’t Fix Your Romantic Problems

September 15th, 2015 by Nick Notas 15 Comments


Everyone’s looking for a quick fix that’ll get them more dates. What’s the point of investing time and effort when you can just take a shortcut?

A lot of men who struggle to connect with women get frustrated and look for the easy way out. They eventually have a Eureka! moment like…

“Hey, I should just be an asshole all the time!”

I mean, I see how it kind of makes sense from their point of view.

In college, cocky frat guys get laid like rock stars. Go to a bar and you often see the loudest, most obnoxious guy making out with girls by the end of the night. And everyone has a friend who treats women like total crap but always has someone to go home with.

They assume that their own lack of success is due to them being too nice. So they think they just have to stop caring about girls they meet. They need to treat them as sexual conquests and nothing more. They have to put them down, ignore them, and make them jealous by sleeping with other women.

Basically, they must become an arrogant narcissist. If they do that, all their problems with women will be solved.

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How to Have a Threesome With Your Girlfriend

September 2nd, 2015 by Nick Notas 8 Comments


Peter: “What would you do if you had a million dollars?”

Lawrence: “I’ll tell you what I’d do, man, two chicks at the same time, man.”

Office Space

This quote reminds us of the collective male fantasy – the infamous ménage-a-trois. Though the 2 girls/1 guy sexual combination is known for being a predominantly male pipe dream, I’ve found that it’s many women’s idea of a good time, too.


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