No one likes being sold to.
When I worked in real estate, I cold called people to pitch them on refinancing their mortgage.
Nearly every person who picked up the phone was annoyed. Even when my offer was potentially useful, I struggled to get anyone to hear me out.
I had way more people tell me “Fuck off!” than “Oh yes, I’m so happy you called!”
It’s because people are turned off by “salesmen”. They envision guys with ill-fitting suits trying to convince them to buy something they don’t want.
So where dating is concerned, I tell my clients: “Be the buyer, not the seller.”
This means approaching women with the mindset that YOU are choosing a compatible person for YOU. You should not be acting like a desperate salesman trying to prove that you’re good enough.
Being the “seller” means you value the approval of others over your own opinion of yourself. You worry about their judgment and you work hard to impress them. You’re afraid of losing any opportunity (scarcity) rather than focusing on finding ones that you find fulfilling (abundance).
This is an unconfident, needy mindset. As I’ve written before, neediness is the biggest turn-off for women.
But implementing the “buyer” mindset means raising your self-esteem. I know that’s not easy to do overnight.
What you need to do is change your behavior and develop new habits that breed a high-value mindset. So I created 4 exercises that will help you cultivate a confident mentality of choice and abundance.